"Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."
Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
-Joel 2:12-13
I will preface this by saying I don't usually give anything up for Lent, and if I do, I rarely last longer than two weeks. This Lenten season, I am going to work on rending my heart. In the dictionary, rend means to separate, tear apart violently, divide. There are areas in my life in which I have become so assimilated to the world. Two areas that I am going to work on during the next 40 days are 1. my attitude/general disposition at work and 2. the way I spend money.
I want to use this period of time to reflect on parts of my life where I feel very unconnected to God-and instead, very connected to this world's outlook.
For instance, I have spent large amounts of money recently on going out to eat, clothes, and beauty products. I just spent $97 last week on anti-aging skin care products. I'm just being honest here. I don't think it's bad to spend money. I think it's ok to by nice things. I don't think it's ok to be attached to money and to value it more than God. I need to stop wasting money and think about what I am doing with it. I need to re-think whether I am buying into this world's promise that having more stuff will make me happier. So, I am not going out to lunch during Lent. No $10 salads from Ingredients. No vending machine hit-ups during the late afternoon. It's a small thing I can do that will give me the chance to begin to plan how to rend my heart when it comes to money.
Another example is how I am at work. Generally, work environments foster complaints, gossip, and negativity. Hardly the attitudes of Godly people, right?! But, I don't bring a different perception to the office. No, usually I contribute to the negativity. So, I am taking time during Lent to rend my heart regarding my attitude and approach to work. This will be very hard for me. But, I am going to practically pray HARD during the day, lifting up the stresses/frustrations/complaints to God and then letting them go. I am setting aside time during my day to do this and keeping a notepad so I can write them down-and then be done with it. I know-it seems a little silly. But, change takes practice and discipline. I need to change my focus and remember that ultimately, my job is not who I am. Our world teaches us that we are defined by our jobs-I am an attorney. Well, God says that isn't so. Thus, I need to rend my heart regarding the way I think about work-and how work affects me!
So, pray for me. I will need it! May this be a season full of healthy reflection on the areas in our life where the world has a stronger hold than God. I pray we have the wisdom to see those areas and the guts to try something different.