i love the food network

I have an obsession with the Food Network. I love spending Saturday and Sunday mornings drinking coffee, catching up on emails from work and watching Paula, Giada, and Rachel teach me how to make delicious dishes. One Sunday morning I watched the Food Network in HD on Steve's tv--and let me just say I am convinced whomever invented HD did so to showcase sports (of course), but also food!

It's funny because once in a while I will attempt one of the recipes I watch on tv--and it's so gratifying. (Although it can also be frustrating--one of Giada's dishes I tried to replicate ended up with the smoke alarm that would NOT stop going off). But, when it's all said and done, it's much more satisfying to attempt to make a recipe than simply watching it on tv. And I learn that way--I learn not only cooking techniques, but I also learn what spices I like or don't like and what flavors compliment together.  We all learn the best by actually doing, right? 

I think we all could "do" a little more and "watch" a little less. In all areas of my life I should be jumping in and getting my hands dirty so I can learn. Because it's harder (and much slower) to learn and grow by just watching from the sidelines and letting everybody else tell you what you do and don't need in your life. I firmly believe it's the messy mistakes in our own life that teach us the most. And those mistakes usually teach us way more than someone else's words or advice.  

p & p

Tonight Steve and I watched Becoming Jane, a movie about Jane Austen and how a certain love interest in her life influenced her writing Pride and Prejudice. Yes, I owe Steve big for letting me pick the movie and letting me pick that movie. I am a very lucky woman.

Anyway...of course I came home and rummaged through my old, tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice. This book is definitely in my top 5 of all time, and may be my favorite. 

Either way, here are 2 passages I came across tonight. I love this story. Enjoy and have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It was too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. 

-Mr. Darcy, Chapter 60

You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them.

-Elizabeth, Chapter 60

The essentials

This morning I went to give Fiona her scoop of dog food only to realize there were 5 little kibbles left in the bag. I rummaged around and ended up feeding her a half hot dog for breakfast since I figured that was the most dog-ish food in the house. (If that doesn't give you the picture of what an amazing parent I would be, I don't know what will)

It's been over 2 weeks since I've made a decent grocery store run and I am desperately in need of food, but I just was not in the mood for a long Kroger trip. So I decided I would make a trip to IGA on my way home from work for some essentials.

My essentials?

1 bag of dog food

1 "just for one" California Kitchen Pizza

2 bottles of vihno verde (the best summer wine ever-and no they were not for dinner, but IGA has been out of stock of this delicious 5.99 wine, so I figured I would stock up)

1 pack of Orbit Crystal Mint gum

The cashier scanned my items and said "looks like a fun night for you." And it was! Sometimes I get to thinking how great it is to be all grown up and get just what I want from the store, instead of what I need. Sure, I could've spent $20 on things like eggs and bread and lunch meat...but, somedays your "essentials" vary. :-)

sadness

I planted two little tomato plants with the hopes of having tomatoes I could pick right off and eat without having to go to the grocery store. And they are both on their way to dying. It's completely my fault. I planted them in pots that didn't have a hole for drainage and inadvertently placed them under a gutter (that is in desperate need of being cleaned out). So, every time it rains, they get dumped on. The poor little tomatoes are drowning! I am going to try to drill a hole in the pots tonight and put a stake in each one so they can grow up straight, but I think my dream of having tomatoes right outside on my deck is fading. 

In better news, I did win 2/3 games of Jeopardy on Saturday AND it's supposed to be a gorgeous Memorial Day Weekend! 

self-sufficiency

"And how disastrous for us is the continual remembrance of death which war enforces. One of our best weapons, contented worldliness, is rendered useless. In wartime not even a human can believe that he is going to live forever."

-The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis

Two things happened to me today that were kind of convicting-1. I listened to a podcast of a talk given by Matt Chandler that suggested the danger of living a life where you are constantly trying to remain safe and in control (and how that essentially means you are saying you control God) and then 2. I read through half of The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis, and came across a section where Screwtape basically states one of his best weapons is when a person has "contented worldliness." 

I know that I struggle, and will likely always struggle, with pride. I consider myself intelligent (although God likes to use Jeopardy to humble me). I try to make logical, wise decisions. And in all of that, I try to control everything. I do certain things to control areas of my life, and in a sense, to create certain outcomes. For example, I work hard at work, put in long hours--to make sure I have job security. I call my sister and spend time with her, to make sure we stay close. I exercise daily and *try* to eat healthfully so that I will live longer. But while none of that is bad per se, it's dangerous to get content in relying on doing those things to create safety and security.

I mean, everything in this world is so futile. In his talk Matt Chandler kept saying "all it takes is one phone call" to disrupt everything I've worked so hard to control.  And in controlling everything, I'm making myself a slave to those things. That is not a free life. 

It's just another reminder that this life isn't mine. My life is God's--for Him to use how he wants. Everything is His and was created for His glory. Everything. True contentment, the kind of which Paul describes when he says he has learned to be content in all circumstances, is not a contentment derived from setting all his ducks in a row and having a safe life. Paul's contentment is a peace that he feels because he knows his life is not his, but God's. And recognizing that means he can be joyful and free even during the worst kind of suffering.

So far this year for me has really been learning how to be free. And I think to be free I have to learn to be content in the same manner Paul is. I can't create that kind of peace because I have money or a boyfriend or a loving family or health. All those things could be gone at any moment. 

I'm beginning to realize that true freedom and peace come from knowing my life is not mine, but God has given it to me and wants to use it to glorify Him. And I think that is pretty exciting. It's also a relief to not have to be a slave to everything else.

Welcome Home

I spent the weekend in Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!). When I arrived home about 2 hours ago, the house was empty. I opened the door to the most wonderful welcome. My 12lb dog literally lept into my arms, whimpering and licking me. She was so very very excited to see me. 

I really don't know if there is a better feeling than the sound of a dog running to the door ready to welcome you back home. No matter how much I neglect her, yell at her, push her off my bed, she still comes running with a tail wagging welcome.

I just love it. Extra treats for Fi!

(This is a picture of her welcoming me by stealing my sock--not even 10 minutes after I was home ;-) )

Take Me Away

36 more days until I am relaxing on the sandy beaches of the Outer Banks.  I am very, very, very ready to get away and escape work, routine, and return refreshed. And I promise not to check my work email while away (more than 5 times--kidding! ;-) ).

Take me away

A secret place.

A Sweet escape.

Take me away.

-Take Me Away, Natasha Bedingfield