I Love Jane Austen

Really, I do. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite. Maybe it's because the main character is Elizabeth, and she has a fabulous name. Either way, I love the story. Elizabeth, though full of insecurities, always speaks her mind and tells it like it is. And then there's Mr. Darcy. Can a person be in love with a fictional character? If so, I might be. Initially, we think he's a wealthy, arrogant jerk; but by the end he's earned our trust and has shown himself to be sensitive, protective, and deeply caring, for lack of a better word. There are far too few Mr. Darcy's in the world...the absolute best is when he finally says to Elizabeth , “You must know - surely you must know that it was all for you... I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day forward.” I just love it...

Enjoy the clip--the movie is awesome, but read the book if you haven't...:)

(ps. this is not the clip I would pick...it's cheesey, but youtube has too many music videos people make from movies--makes it hard to find what you are looking for when there are 3000 video clips...)

Sick

I hate being sick. When my throat starts hurting I blame it on a dry bedroom, or changing weather, or maybe a lack of water. If people tell me, "geez I think I am getting sick" I am quick to tell them, hey mind over matter, you must will yourself not to get sick (to which is usually responded with a nasty glare). And then I proceed to run to the bathroom, wash my hands for 5 minutes and try to disinfect anything that person may have touched :) hehe...(seriously, when someone sneezes or coughs around me I am apt to stick my mouth and nose under my shirt so I don't have to inhale those "sick" germs--I have issues) I loathe that icky, weak, helpless feeling that accompanies being sick.

Oh well, somehow my germs-away approach didn't work and I caught something. Now it's war with this illness. My weapons? Lots of water, longer runs (seriously it works, if you exercise when you are sick, you WILL get better faster), and zinc lozenges (cold-eeze, developed in Wooster, OH...you know it's great). No antihistamines (sp?) for me...I swear they just prolong the cold!

And this little cold-deal better be on its merry way by Sunday night...or else!

Maybe it's just bad karma since I called in sick when I wasn't exactly sick as a dog...so now I have to work AND be sick...shame on me!

Would You Rather 8

I think New Years Eve is one of the most, if not THE MOST, overrated holidays all year. So many times I have had these amazing plans that either fizzle out or aren't nearly as fun as they seemed they would be. Some years I've just sat around, played games, once I waited for a boyfriend at an airport (that was for the millenium...what a way to celebrate!), I've gone to nice dinners, I've consumed lots of champagne...all were semi-fun, but I've never had an incredible New Years. I still want to go to a fancy party someday with someone I can't wait to kiss at midnight...

And I still have high hopes maybe this year's celebration will top them all. So we'll see....and in light of that...

Would you rather go out somewhere fancy all dressed up to celebrate the New Year OR stay at home, possibly in your pj's, playing games and rock in the New Year with Dick Clark on tv?

I'm All Grown Up

Driving back from Toledo tonight I had a realization--I am all grown up. I no longer live with my parents, I don't have a winter break, and I have a whole host of obligations I haven't had ever before. This is the first Christmas where I won't go to Pittsburgh to visit my family there in my entire life because I have to work this week. I really still feel like I am in high school. I feel like I am playing or something. I definitely don't feel like I have a real job, am a professional, etc. It's incredible how fast time passes. Does it ever seem like each year goes by faster than the one before?
Anyways, I was thinking a lot about my family's Christmas traditions and how it's kind of sad that as you get older, your traditions have to change. We open some gifts early with my brother's family because he has kids of his own and has Christmas morning at his own house. This year I have a job and can't make it to Pittsburgh, so the tradition changes. I have nothing too profound to say--I just felt nostalgic driving home:)
It's crazy how fast time goes by. I am 25 years old and I still feel 15 a lot of the time. But then, once in a while, I get a glimpse of this adult who has bills, a nutty dog, a "real" job, and 25 years of memories and I just think...wow... I guess Ferris Bueller was right when he said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it."

Home for the Holidays

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!

I am home for Christmas until I have to head back to work Tuesday (ugh!). And I am banished to the couch because there are so many people here (at least for tonight). Apparently you have to be married to get your own room around here.

It's sofa city for me...and if you don't get that reference go rent Sixteen Candles.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas :)

Defending the Creeps

I worked for a semester in a common pleas court in Toledo. I would watch the criminal docket in shock because nearly every criminal who came through the courtroom doors would plead either "guilty" or, usually, "no contest" (i.e. I do not disagree with the facts as presented by the prosecution, I am waiving my right to a trial or to plea not guilty, and go ahead and punish me, but I am not actually pleading guilty.) Criminal cases are rarely brought to trial, because, well, most times the guy did it and it's just a matter of determining how much leeway the sentencing statute gives the judge. And if the defendant didn't, some part of the investigation got screwed up and the evidence was lost/mishandled so the defendant would be free to go on a technicality (though if stats are right he/she will be back soon).
This has been my feeling/mentality regarding criminal defendants. Right now, however, I am reading John Grisham's book The Innocent Man. Part of me is kind of annoyed by it. It's a tale of incredible injustice in Oklahoma and the murder convictions of two innocent men based on ridiculous evidence and coerced confessions. I get annoyed because books like this (it's nonfiction) sensationalize the justice system and encourage the thinking that our justice system is screwy and filled with dishonest/lazy/unscrupulous attorneys/judges/police officers, etc. and makes all defendants into victims of the "system." Theoretically speaking, however, we have one of the most defendant-friendly court systems in the entire world. You are guaranteed adequate representation, a jury by your peers, an impartial judge, an appeals system just to ensure the trial court got it right, and evidence may only be admitted if it's proven to be relevant, has been in a proper chain of custody, and is not prejudicial.
I realize our judicial system can never be perfect--it is implemented by human beings, so go figure. Anyway, before I start a rant (oh wait maybe I already did) about how tired I get hearing people complain about a system of which their only knowledge is based upon the media, john grisham books, or television shows like boston legal, I will get to my point--reading this book has given me a first hand account of how the justice system really can completely destroy a person's life when unfair, sloppy, and coercive methods are used against a defendant.
I have often said I never want to work in criminal law, and this is mostly true. But, I used to think if I had to do criminal work, I would choose prosecution over criminal defense any day. This is no longer true. The role of the public defender, or any criminal defense attorney for that matter, is crucial to the protection of a defendant's rights. (As is proper police work and prosecutors who investigate fully prior to filing charges) Especially one who is ignorant of the law, possibly mentally unstable, and with a long criminal history. My friend Holly and I have talked about going into practice together in the future (she still has to take the bar though--lucky her:) ) but until that day comes, I am not going to shut the door completely on taking criminal appointments. Even if every person who walks through the door of the courtroom is guilty and is a waistoid who likely cannot be rehabilitated to ever function properly in society, they have a voice that needs to be heard. They have a story. They have a lot to lose.
Go get the book, it's good, and I'm sure someday it will be a movie. Hmm, a John Grisham book turning into a movie...that'd be a shocker...

Presents!

Growing up I can remember certain Christmas gifts that were super special--my first big girl bike (a pink huffy with purple streamers coming out of the handles), a barbie corvette, a pair of earrings that belonged to my grandma that my grandpa had given her when they first met, an ipod, car keys (oh wait that was my parent's joke--they were actually keys to THEIR cars...joke was on me)...you get the idea.
Last night my uncle came over with my mom and brought Katy and me an AWESOME Christmas gift--customized cornhole sets complete with our undergrad colors and logos. Not only do they look sweet, he did everything by hand. He literally taped out the redhawk for miami and each letter. No stencils, no sticker logo. Incredible. I have no artistic skill whatsoever, so seeing things like this amazes me. It's such a special gift--not only that it's personalized, but because of how much time it took to get it right. He painted mine twice because he didn't like the color of gold first...
Anyways, I can't wait to try them out. Luckily it's not going to be too cold anytime soon. So bring it on! I think I see a cornhole championship in my future :)

Would You Rather 6

Gossip. Whether it's friendly or mean or untrue or absolutely true, we all do it sometimes. Maybe women are worse than men, who knows. But there are definitely people who love to be in everybody's business (and ya sometimes that person is me :) ). It's done at the water cooler (I love that image), at parties, in bathrooms, on the phone...basically everywhere. So while we all claim that we hate to be talked about, maybe we really just hate it when we are talked about in an unflattering way...

On that note....

Would you rather be gossiped about OR never talked about at all?

Coooookies

I volunteered (and volunteered Katy) to make all the Christmas cookies for my family this year. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking considering I have no time off work except for this Wednesday and Christmas day. Katy will be making buckeyes and chocolate covered pretzels, but between now and Friday evening I need to have about 10-12 different types of bars/cookies made!

Sooo...what are your favorite cookies? I know I am making oatmeal raisin and snickerdoodles because, well, they are my favorite...but other than that I really can't decide. HELP!

p.s. I have this cookbook called the Cookie Bible, and I tried to browse through it and seriously I think it has more pages than a real bible...so any ideas are welcome:)

It really IS a Wonderful Life

I did my senior thesis on Christmas movies..(ok, seriously college was the best. ) It's a Wonderful Life by Frank Cappra is one of the best by far. I often get a case of the "I wish I had ___" or "if only I were ___" or better yet "if I were just married to or dating ___". So many times we get preoccupied with what we haven't done, where we haven't been, and how many of our dreams haven't been reached. We forget what we have, how special right now is, our experiences along the way, and the potential that remains in the future. But maybe that's just me:) I know it's pretty simple...but I think it's universal. It's so easy to get disheartened when things go wrong and life seems to hand us a mountain of struggling circumstances. It definitely stinks sometimes.

My favorite part of the movie is where George Bailey screams out "I wanna live!" in desperation ...He was able to get what I (and probably a lot of people need)-- a little perspective on what's important and realizing life can be fulfilling (and abundant) even when it's not as we planned it to be.

Would you Rather 5

Growing up, when our family would travel my dad, would always listen to talk radio. Usually it was sports and once in a while sports commentary. Half the time the station would barely come in and all we could hear was static. It was awful if your batteries ran out of your walkman (back in the day before ipods) before you got to the next rest stop.
So the other day I was driving back fron Cincinnati and I started listening to talk radio. It was the only thing that would keep me awake. And I kind of enjoyed it--sick, I know.

So here goes:

Would you rather forever have to listen to sports/talk radio in your car or nothing at all? (and no you can't pick out WHAT sport--it all depends on which station comes in best)

Dickens

Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843. I love this passage...I think he gets it right as to why so many people love this time of year.

"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say, Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred origin, if anything belonging to it call be apart from that, -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to thank of people below them as if they really were fellow-travellers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"

I need direction, literally

I get lost a lot. Once, I had a job interview at this big firm in pittsburgh. I spent a half hour in a parking garage trying to find an entrance into the building. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Today I went on this long run at this metropark and ended up completely lost in the middle of this park. Luckily I stumbled upon a map posted, but it was all worn down and unreadible. While standing there confused, this man appeared OUT OF NOWHERE with his huge dog and said (no lie) "I see you've lost your way." My first thought: this is going to end like a bad lifetime movie--I am definitely about to get attacked/kidnapped/pushed into the stream behind me. But, ok, he was nice, helped me find my car, and all was well.

I've been going to Cincinnati at least once a week for about three months. You'd think I'd have some idea of where I am going. But, no. Last night Jana and I spent 20 minutes trying to find 75...I mean, really? I need a map of Cincy and sooner rather than later. (By the way, Jana hate to ruin your xmas--but you are getting a map as well, and a justin cd:) )
I have never been good at directions. I see things by landmarks rather than streets. I get confused and turned around easily. If there weren't a compass in my car, I would be in BIG trouble. I laugh when people say "go north on x street and then west on x"--what in the world does that mean? Speak in lefts or rights please! "Turn left at the mcdonalds and right at the place where you can tan while you do laundry" (a fine establishment jana and i discovered last night).

I just don't get it, some people always seem to have a sense of where they are, and then there's me...clueless.
Oh well...I HAVE gotten to see a lot more of Cincy, among other places, than I would have if I never got lost :)

the griswolds are awesome

Look out, I figured out how to link out to youtube videos. I LOVE Christmas Vacation. It's one of those movies that I can't help but recite the lines while I watch it. If this isn't in your top 5 favorite Christmas movies, you are crazy:) This is one of my favorite parts.... enjoy!!!

Starting with an Apology

I have immediate family members and a very close friend in my life that would never call themselves Christians. They may call themselves spiritual, or maybe even religious, but they would never label themselves a Christian.
Recently, I’ve been trying to figure out why I think it would take more than a miracle for these people to become followers of Jesus. I question my lack of faith. I wander at my inability to minister to them, while sharing freely with other people in my life—people who are more like strangers to me. It hit me while I was driving home tonight. At least one of the reasons I find it so hard to share Jesus with these close people in my life is because I know and have heard ridiculous stories of their interactions with other Christians. I get almost ashamed to associate or label myself the same name as these folks who, seemingly with good intentions, turned these people close to my heart off from Jesus.
So, I think my approach may be off. Clearly, I need major prayer that God can change my heart to have more faith that He really can work a miracle in their lives. But, I think these people need an apology first. To my friend who decided to go to a “seeker-friendly” church and was given the run around when trying to get involved in a small group to try to figure out what was meant when she heard Jesus died for her sins—I’m sorry. To my family who has a church parking lot near their back yard and church members who dump their trash in your vegetable garden, refuse to mow their section of grass, and distribute unwanted literature nonstop to your door—I’m sorry. Whatever it may be, we all have at some point experienced the disgusting hypocrisy that turns so many non-Christians away from God. So to those close people in my life (and anyone else to whom this may apply):
I’m sorry that we as Christians are so hypocritical. I’m sorry if we have in any way kept you from knowing Jesus. I’m sorry if we have lead you to believe that becoming a Christian also means becoming a conservative, close-minded, arrogant, elitist jerk. I’m sorry that we seem to get it wrong sometimes more than we get it right when it comes to living like Christ. I’m sorry we are so human. I'm sorry we don't often show acceptance or grace. I'm sorry we sometimes seem to have a simple answer for complex questions. My prayer is that you wouldn’t let our shortcomings and our humanness prevent you from knowing Jesus.

Would You Rather 4

This is a pic of my two best friends from college who I don't see NEARLY enough :) We can go 2 weeks + without talking and pick up right where we left off. The friendship requires very little maintenance, but I know I can count on them. I love that. I've only ever had a few close friends. I've had lots of acquaintances, but only a handful of very close-tell-nearly-everything friends. I cherish them. But, sometimes diverse opinions are interesting too...sooooo

Would you rather have a big group of friends or one very close friend?

No More Mudpies, please!

DISCLAIMER**I love Cinderella, I want to be swept off my feet again by an amazing love, I think men are wonderful**

Women, sometimes I think we are too easily pleased by men. Men appear to offer us security, perhaps satisfy desires, flatter us; and yet consistently leave us unfulfilled, wanting more, and let down. Why, then, do we always want to make those relationships work—no matter how unhealthy, no matter how far they may take us from God or our friends?
I feel like most women see marriage as a goal in life, a destination, that until reached, life can’t be complete or ever enough. And it’s worse among Christian women. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I want to be married, I think we are designed for companionship; but I think sometimes we miss the point when it comes to men. Here are some ways I think women miss the point when it comes to men:

1. Men are human and thus will fail to meet our expectations for a prince/hero/fill in your dream description here. As sad as it is, men will always disappoint us, just like we will always disappoint men—at least on some level.

2. If a man doesn’t bring you closer to God, the relationship isn’t right. I really feel this to be true—from experience—I’m not airing my personal experiences on my blog, but just trust me that I have enough experience here to make this statement.

3. We enable men to be less than they should by making excuses for their shortcomings, continually accepting subpar treatment, and compromising our faith in exchange for a relationship with a man who doesn’t strengthen us spiritually.

4. We need to stop blaming men for being jerks and players and start taking part of the blame ourselves. We have too often allowed our longing to be desired get in the way of waiting for a man who can love us the way God intended. Don’t get me wrong, I have my “men suck” moments (well quite often really), but more times than not it’s really a “wow I can’t believe she/I let that happen” moment.

5. No man will ever complete you. Ever. Stop waiting for the Jerry Maguire moment and start strengthening your relationship with God. I realize I’m cynical and this is all a result of my own unhealthy relationships, but these broken relationships have taught me time and time again that my needs will NEVER completely be met by a man.

6. We can’t possibly expect to be good wives/girlfriends if we need our husband or boyfriend to feel satisfied, worthy, or fulfilled. I realize love is addicting, that feeling of being cared for and desired is incredible. Falling in love is the best feeling in this world, hands down. But it also takes us to a place where we are willing to do anything to continue having that feeling. Whether it’s agreeing to watch Monday night football when you hate it or slowly allowing yourself to move away from God, we as women go out of our way to accommodate men (or at least I have) in order to keep that intoxicating love feeling going. I’m not saying relationships aren’t work, I’m just saying we should have our needs fulfilled by something more. God promises us an abundant life, we shouldn’t settle for less.

Only when we take the someday-my-prince-will-come blinders and start letting God fulfill our needs rather than expecting a man to do it will we ever become the women/girlfriends/wives we should and can be. Otherwise, I truly believe that we are accepting substitutes. Men can provide so much for us, but when we expect them to provide it all, we will at some point be incredibly lost and disappointed. Perhaps our desires for husbands and great boyfriends aren’t so strong, but instead so weak. As C.S. Lewis wrote (and advice given to me by my sister before):

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Don’t be so easily pleased…

I have more thoughts, but at the moment my dog is going crazy barking at a stupid excuse for a Christmas decoration blow up polar bear across the street and I need to go shut her up before the neighbors come yell at me…

Is Evangelism a Dirty Word?

Does the word “evangelism” make your skin crawl? I feel like it’s like the word “feminism.” I mean, I’m all for women’s equality, but do I want to call myself a feminist and then somehow get assigned the man-hating stigma? If I’m an evangelist, am I some sort of close-minded crusader out to convert everyone I encounter? And what does evangelism even mean? Is it serving a person one time by handing them a candy cane or washing their car for free—telling them God loves them in a passing sort of way, or is it creating a meaningful friendship with someone where he/she feels comfortable bringing their spiritual questions? Or is it both?
For the short time that I lead Young Life in college, my idea of evangelism or outreach was simply hanging out with high school kids--spending time at basketball games, listening to their ridiculous (and entertaining stories) and basically meeting them where they were. Outreach was completely relational to me, and I thought that was what everyone else thought too.
Since I have moved here, I have participated in a few outreaches at the Vineyard. I have gone to the nursing home a few times and also wrapped gifts at wrap it up a couple of times. I’m in the process of sorting through what evangelism means, how to implement practical, meaningful evangelism in my life in a way that doesn’t contribute to the negative connotations that surround that word.
Hearing the word evangelist always makes me think of a preacher on television and I’m not sure why. I associate this word with pushy, kinda crazy, religious fanatics. The kind of people who were on a corner handing out Bibles and telling students they were going to hell if they didn’t convert when I was in college. Or people I’ve met who can’t have a conversation with someone without making that person a “project”—i.e. not leaving that person alone until they accept Christ. Have you ever been around people like? That kind of evangelism is something of which I want no part.
To be honest, in some outreaches I feel like that person. I start wondering how passing out a candy cane or giving an elderly woman some lotion with a card that says “God loves you” shows Christ to that person. I mean doesn’t it seem a little trite? Sure, it’s a nice gesture, but what happens afterwards… is there any kind of follow-up? Or are we just passing along a blessing to another because God has blessed us? I’m just not sure I get that.
What if evangelism means something different? What if church taught us how to reach out to the people we work with, to our parents, our siblings? What if we were taught the specifics of building meaningful relationships with people in order to earn the right to talk about Jesus without making people into projects, without pushing people into a decision, without forcing people to think a certain way? What if a church taught us how to practically portray God’s grace and acceptance to people without worrying about changing or converting them and to instead trust God to sort that out? Why aren’t more resources poured into that?
I think sometimes we think that to be effective at relational outreach we have to be extroverted, super outgoing, popular people. But this is not so. Creating a relationship where someone feels comfortable asking you about your faith and sharing his or her skepticisms about Jesus is something EVERYBODY can do. We all have friends; we all have people we interact with on a daily basis—people who are part of our routines. There are people I see everyday at the gym, or people I talk to each morning when I get coffee at work in the morning. There are things we can do to serve these people, to meet them where they are, to shock them with kindness and love, and eventually maybe have the chance to talk to them about something slightly more spiritual than the fact that the decaf and regular coffee pot must have been switched up. But we have to start somewhere…we have to make a move, start talking, and do something.
I’m passionate about learning how to do this—to love people in a way that is not scary, offensive, pushy, or too goal-oriented. And I refuse to let the fact that I am not super outgoing stand in the way of having this kind of relational ministry. More to come…

Wise Words from Linus

I love that it's December first, which means it's completely legitimate to have my radio permanently on Christmas music, I can decorate my cube for Christmas, and I can once again start re-watching all my favorite Christmas movies. Tonight I am going to babysit my niece and nephew and we are going to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. Though not my fave Christmas flick, I love its simple message. In response to the flashy commercialism of Christmas, Charlie Brown desparately searches for the true meaning of Christmas. I just LOVE this story and Linus's sweet, simple response:

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

Air Force Museum

Have you ever played those trust games? Like you get together and you have to do a trust fall or you all intertwine your arms and then have to unravel...all in the name of "teamwork" or some such thing.
I work for a big corporation. We have 9 legal "teams" and every quarter each team goes on what is called a team building day where you basically get a day off work in exchange for spending the day with your team members. Our team spent part of the day at the Air Force Museum and watching an IMAX movie (the other part was spent in team meetings which was not so fun) and it was surprisingly awesome. Even though we had to do a scavenger hunt (of course I won, did you really have to ask), I LOVED the visit. Not only do they have airplanes from Kitty Hawk through the space age, there's also tons of missles and bombs. The museum even has the B-29 that dropped the bomb on Nagasaki. There was a plane called the "strawberry bitch" with a half naked woman on it and a plane that looked like a shark. I also liked the gallery of old bomber jackets. I think everyone should go tour this museum. It's pretty sweet and a lot bigger than I thought. Apparently it's the biggest and oldest in the world!
Now, I could take or leave the IMAX movie. It was all about speed and the evolution of man made fast stuff. Basically it made me fee car sick. I don't know if you've ever been to an IMAX movie, but the point is to make you feel like you are really experiencing it. So cars whipping around race tracks and roller coasters on the big screen kind of made me nauseus. But, other than that, yesterday was so fun.

So, I recommend everybody take a trip to the Air Force museum. If you like history at all, fast stuff at all, engines at all, war memorabilia at all....you get the point--you will love it. And it sure beat trust fall-type activities :)

Would You Rather Part 3

So I am seriously craving some ocean right now--it's gotten so bad I find myself looking up air fare to the beach at work even though I have no vacation days left until the new year. Thus, that is the thought behind today's question...

Would you rather wake up on Christmas morning to a blanket of fresh fallen snow OR wake up to the sound of waves crashing on the beach?

25 Things I Want to Do (hopefully before 30)

When I was driving to work this morning I heard someone on the radio talking about things they wished they could do in their life. I started thinking about stuff I have always wanted to do, and would like to do at some point, so I decided to start a little list. And since I'm 25, I figured right now 25 things is enough! So here are 25 things I would like to do sooner rather than later...I think some might be easier than others :)

1. Ski
2. Pick out and decorate a real Christmas tree (maybe even cut one down, would that be crazy?)
3. Try sushi
4. Ice skate outside (I’ve done it once inside and surprisingly did not fall!)
5. Go to Washington, DC to celebrate July 4th
6. Road trip out to California, stopping at scenic landmarks along the way (including but not limited to the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park)
7. Run fast enough to qualify for the Boston Marathon
8. Go to a concert and have great seats, not just the cheapest seats available, which is what I usually do.
9. Learn to drive stick shift ( this past weekend I mastered the art of parallel parking thanks to Jana’s instruction, and maybe “mastered” isn’t quite the word )
10. Ride on a fast horse (I’ve ridden a horse once, and I was 6 and the horse was barely moving--and Katy was hanging on only by straddling the horse upside down)
11. Read the Bible cover to cover
12. Cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner (this is probably also something I’d only like to do once)
13. Attend the summer Olympics
14. Go to a fancy New Year’s Eve party (and kiss someone I love at midnight)
15. Compete in a full triathlon, not just a sprint version
16. See in person all the art I studied in college in all those art history classes I took. I’ve maybe seen 10% so far.
17. Be a home owner
18. Learn to speak Italian
19. Fall deeply in love (in a relationship that lasts!)
20. Go to a shooting range and fire a gun (now wouldn't that be a fun date?!)
21. Spend Christmas on the beach
22. Grow a garden.
23. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring
24. Make a hole in one on the golf course.
25. Fly first class

I can come up with a lot more, in fact as I started listing, I found it hard not to think of other things I want to do at some point. But, I think these things are pretty realistic...shoot, maybe I could even check them off before I'm 30 :) What do you really want to do that you've never done before?

A Little Perspective

I usually resist change. I am not one of those spontaneous, whatever -happens- is-great people. I like routine, I plan things, and I don't like it when I have to deviate from the plan. Recently, though, I have been longing for change. All day I have been in a funk and can't figure out why I'm so frustrated, but I think some of it comes from wanting change. During the last three months, my relationship with God has changed a lot, in good ways. I'm working hard on trusting God more and relying on my own problem solving less. I'm trying to sort through what evangelism means and how my idea of it fits within all the negative connotations I have of that word. I'm being super disciplined about prayer in the hopes it will help my trust issues with God. I'm being much more open about what's going on in my life with other people. This is all good. These are all things I wasn't doing 6 months ago. But, I'm still frustrated with myself.
I want transformation. I want to surrender my junk to God immediately, without first trying to figure it out and then when I have no solution going and seeing what God can do about it. I want to stop being so darn critical of people, of Christians who are maybe pursuing a style of ministry/evangelism I think is ineffective. I want to not be so cynical about love. I want to trust God without questioning whether He really will come through. I want to not have to deal with the same temptations/challenges/struggles I've dealt with for years.
For me, when growth starts to feel slow, I get frustrated. So tonight I was feeling kind of stagnant and wondering what I needed to do to see more growth, to feel change faster. What is my next step? What is my plan of action? As I was thinking about it/praying on my way home, I gained a little perspective. Instead of comparing myself to everybody else, or to where I think I should be, I started thinking about where I was 6 months ago; how I was living during law school. I AM growing. My life is very different than it was a year ago, or even last July. Maybe I need to stop setting expectations for myself that will only lead me to be disappointed. I realized tonight I should be excited for how much more trusting I am of God than I was just a few months ago, instead of getting so frustrated that I still doubt a lot. Instead of waiting until desperation sets in, I am surrendering struggles much sooner than before. I am going to be more excited about how far I have come, rather than be concerned about where I need to be. Not that I don't need to look ahead and continue to grow, but that I need to be less concerned with speed, with a destination. I need to accept that I am, and always will be, "in process" and that is ok.
I know God wants me to keep moving forward and growing closer to Him, but how great is it that He loves us where we are? He loves us while we are still learning, changing, slipping up, moving on, growing up. I love that. I'm so thankful for where I am right now, for how I've changed/grown recently. I just needed a little perspective to figure that out.

One More Thing

I AM INCREDIBLY THANKFUL FOR THIS AWESOME WEATHER!!! (and the fact that I won't freeze in tomorrow morning's race!)

hard to believe it's Nov. 22 when you walk outside today :):) ENJOY!

Thank YOU!

So it's nearly Thanksgiving. This might not make sense because as I am writing Jana is pretending she is not falling asleep while we catch up on some tivo. It's a little hard to concentrate because every so often she wakes up and makes some crazy, nonsensical comment. Anyways, I am taking a break from would you rather wednesdays to honor Thanksgiving with a random list of things for which I am thankful. Here goes:

I'm thankful:
1. I don't live on Wysteria lane (sorry it's what I'm watching right now and yikes)
2. I DO live with my twin!
3. I know somebody named Jana and somebody named Annie
4. For new friends
5. I will have my car paid off soon!
6. I passed the bar, have a job, and can pay my bills.
7. I have changed A LOT in the last 4 months...for the good:)
8. I don't have a brain aneurism (sp?)(which is what Jana just said--speaking of nonsensical)
9. I like to run.
10. I have a family to eat dinner with on Thursday.
11. I have 5 days off until I have to work again.
12. For conversations that answer questions, or that stir up more questions and more conversations--it's cyclical
13. That Jana has tivo
14. That the holiday season is upon us--and all that it entails (even the craziness-including the Christmas versions of Delilah that make me cry)
15. That I have the cutest dog in the world (and for Jana and Katy's and potentially Sarah's pet sitting skills when necessary :) )

It's kind of silly to make a list. Let's face it, I have it good. But, sometimes it's fun to stop and realize just how good. Too often I forget how much God has provided for me and I just wish for more. So, for now, it's about being grateful and excited for what's next :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
(p.s. precious moments are kind of scary)

The Inquisition

On Thursday, after I finish my 5 mile Turkey Trot in record speed, I will head up to Brookville, Ohio (if you haven't heard of it just think farm country) to eat Thanksgiving with my mom's family. I wish I were more excited. Don't get me wrong, I am WAY thrilled to be off work Wed-Sunday, but part of me wishes it was just my immediate family at Thanksgiving dinner. Let me explain, at my aunt's house there will be, at a minimum, 50 people who will walk through her doors and feast at some point during the day. My mom has 5 living brothers and sisters, plus her aunts/uncles, and they all have kids and grandkids, etc. It is a big buffet and a scary free for all when the food is served. During dinner, I will be asked many questions, but mostly it will be "so, liz, why didn't you bring a date, are you dating anyone, why not or what's he like, or is it serious or what happened to so and so?" It's kind of ironic, no matter what I accomplish--graduating college, law school, passing the bar, moving out of my parents house:)--my extended family is obsessed with my love life. And for some reason, the holidays bring out their never ending curiosity.
Is your family like that? The funny part is that my mom and dad are NEVER like that. My dad rarely acknowledges a boyfriend unless we've dated over a year or we break up. Then he will ask, so what happened to ___? My mom, the ultra feminist, is finally breathing a sigh of relief that I finished school and have a job before getting married. But my extended family is another story.
It's rough too because most of my cousins my age are married or engaged, so I'm an easy and open target. And I HATE that male cousins do not get the questions...what is that about?
So, over the years I've learned to be prepared for the questioning. I have many options: lie and say my current bf would have come but he is still awaiting parole, stuff my face with food so I can't talk, or maybe I could just say nope not dating anyone--why ya got some ideas? One year at Christmas, an older cousin of mine on my Dad's side noted that she answered questions like that with a "no I'm not seeing anyone seriously, but I sleep with lots of men." Apparently that response stopped family from questioning her (she is almost 40 and single, so I'm sure she has loads of experience). So there's that route...or NOT...
But if your holidays entail questions you'd rather not answer...good luck:) And if you have more creative suggestions, do tell!

I want to make out with that stuffing over there...

The above title is in reference to a statement by Jana...which kind of set the tone for the whole evening. My sister prepared a turkey, stuffing, and everything else that would go with a thanksgiving dinner and oh my did we stuff ourselves. It was INCREDIBLE. We ate, drank, laughed and had a great time. I love these people! These pics don't even begin to describe...but it was great, from the mashed potatoes to Jana scraping the plates;) it was awesome :)

Border Battle

Toledo is a fantastic town to live in if you are a fan of college football. My hometown is 5 miles away from Michigan. There are stores there that sell only Ohio/Michigan sporting goods and have little alarms if you cross one side of the store. Growing up, every OSU/MI game was nuts--mostly because there was such a mix in fans. It really is about 50/50 there, which makes the whole rivalry deal fun to get caught up with.
In my house, however, my dad is a die hard Penn State fan, and the Buckeyes are a far second. So while he cheered them on here and there, we were never the family at Bob Evans on Saturday decked out in Buckeye necklaces or scarlet and gray clothes.
So that was my experience until college. I cheered for OSU, but I wasn't a crazy, go light a car on fire kind of fan. Then came college. My boyfriend then had osu-itis (and probably still does) and he made sure I swore a loyalty oath to his favorite team in all the land. So I memorized plays, learned the names of all the players, studied the history of the team, and learned why the band member who dotted the "i" was so special...because, well, my boyfriend was really into it and I was into him.
Basically, though, over time I developed my own excitement for the Bucks. (Though for a while after my college bf and I broke up, I enjoyed OSU losing). I even busted out an OSU cheerleader costume in law school complete with tatoos and pom poms. Sometimes some of the fans annoy me for sure, but some of that craziness is part of what makes sports fun. So while I'll never love the Buckeyes as much as I love the Steelers, I still have a place in my heart for the OSU buckeyes. Plus it's fun to hear Hang on Sloopy and be proud you're from O-H-I-O. And obviously it's going to be extra exciting this year. So bring on the game, bring on the rivalry...let the fun begin :)

and besides...I have an OSU debit card, so basically that makes me the #1 fan, right?

Vacation Days!

I love that I have Friday off work. Tonight I am driving home to Toledo for two nights. I can't wait! I love my bed at home, it is huge and comfy. Plus, my parents treat me so well when I am home. I love that we have a metropark 5 minutes from our house to run in. I am gathering up old christmas decorations to use at our house when I get back. I was at Target and was nearly giddy walking through the Christmas stuff. I had to leave because I had just gotten paid that day and was afraid of the damage I could have done. Anyways, I am excited. Maybe I will finally have all my winter clothes moved down here....

Have a good weekend!

Would you Rather Part 2

"You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination" --Clark W. Griswald

I am in the process of deciding how to illuminate the exterior of my sister's house for Christmas, so in that spirit:

Would you rather have your house/trees decorated in those fat old-fashioned multi-colored bulbs or just plain little white lights and maybe some candles in the windows?


(Annie and I were talking last night and we were discussing would you rather wear tight skinny jeans every day to work for a month or a tube top --qualifications: no shirt over the tube top and your shirt has to be tucked in the skinny jeans--but I really couldn't see a time I would ever pick the tube top, so I thought the answers might be too predictable;) )

Outer Banks, NC

My family has been going to the Outer Banks in North Carolina since my dad was like 8 years old EVERY summer for 2 weeks. It is the best time and a tradition I love. I try to convince everyone I know that they should vacation there, and now that it is more popular I get annoyed that there are so many people down there...go figure :) The Outer Banks to me is a place of relaxation and the site where I began developing my competitive streak during family games. Here is the routine while on vacation: Wake up early, Run, Breakfast on the screened porch, Down to the beach by 10 at the latest, lay/swim/walk/chill till 4 or 5 (yea I know I will prob have skin cancer someday), Back to the house, Family dinner, Games/Fireworks/Nighttime walks/Bike rides/mini golf. It's not a "hotels on the beach" kind of place or a place with streets lined with bars and clubs. It's cottages and awesome restaurants and sand dunes. This past summer I didn't get to go because I was studying for the bar and then had to start work. I MISSED it immensely. When my parents were up for my swearing in (or I guess that would be down since they live north--whatever) they were talking about the house they were getting and I am SO EXCITED. There is no way I will miss it this year. I was working on a Christmas present and came across some pictures from a year ago when I was there last and I CAN'T WAIT! Think of this as my ad for OBX :)

25th Post...What If...

Hey it's my 25th post. Exciting, eh? I thought I'd do something fun. When I was little I used to spend two weeks in the summer with my grandparents in PA. I asked a lot of questions as a kid. Curiosity breeds intelligence, right? Well, one summer my grandma got so irritated with my questions I was limited to 3 "what if" questions a day. (And no, I couldn't save them up, believe me I would have if I could have.) So in honor of 25 posts, here are 25, count 'em, 25 what if questions. Enjoy... :)

1. What if the Steelers shock the world and end the season winning it all?
2. What if my dog stopped thinking my dirty laundry was her bed or her chew toys?
3. What if I spent less time complaining at work and more time smiling and doing nice things for my co-workers?
4. What if I realized that there can be more to dinner than either chipotle or cereal (or lean cuisines)?
5. What if I learned how to make decent coffee instead of paying 1.50 every day for it?
6. What if I learned how to be good at ping pong and became the ultimate champion?
7. What if we laughed more often and worried less?
8. What if we spent more time outside or with friends and less time in front of the computer or the tv?
9. What if life, the greatest cereal ever, had never been created?
10. What if coaches stopped using running as a punishment and teachers stopped using writing as a punishment?
11. What if i was more grateful?
12. What if there was a beach 25 minutes from your house, would you go often?
13. What if I finally cleaned out the trunk of my car?
14. What if I got DVR?
15. What if Jana started eating licorice again?
16. What if I really did have to wear suits everyday to work?
17. What if Katy's bladder wasn't the size of the period at the end of a sentence? (i know--fewer bathroom stops on the way home!)
18. What if I really did lift three days a week like I intend every Monday and fail every Sunday?
19. What if I had a job I was passionate about?
20. What if Annie and I had gone head to head in the obstacle course on Saturday?
21. What if I thought about serving and loving my sister more?
22. What if someone figured out how to stop wrinkles, and well, aging in general?
23. What if Chipotle was actually good for you and your doctor required you to eat it more?
24. What if people said hi when you passed on the street or at work instead of feeling awkward or waiting for you to say it first?
25. What if you really read all 25 what if questions?

K-A-T-Y

I love my sister. She is so fabulous and it has been a great time living with her. We were kind of worried about living together at first--we used to have some wild fights when we were younger. But, the living arrangement has been perfect (maybe because neither of us is home much--ha! just kidding) This past week she has done SO much for me, from taking care of my dog to folding my laundry--and I LOVE it:) So, here Katy, is a little tribute to you. And bonus points if anyone can name exactly what kind of poem this is;)

Knowing--she knows too many of my dirty secrets :)

Accessible--she always answers her phone when my name comes up on caller ID.

Talanted--educator of the year in my book, just check out those creative bulletin boards in her class room:)

Hilarious (seriously, she is funny)

Adorable (especially when she makes her little faces)

Roomate!--the best

I'm sad face (if you haven't seen it you must, if you have you understand)

Neat and tidy--does a fantastic job keeping the house spic and span

Encouraging--enough said


I love you katy:) There were like a zillion other adjectives that came to mind, but I had limited letters to work with (and a tired brain).

Puddles

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."
Mark 12:30

The other morning I started on a run and it was pouring down rain, which I wasn't thrilled with, but decided to brave it anyway. As i was running, I found myself skipping over puddles and getting really preoccupied with my running shoes getting wet. Weird huh? Here I was running in RAIN, and I was concerned that my shoes were going to get wet if I ran through a puddle. Never mind the fact that my body was soaked and the rain wasn't stopping, I was literally leaping and tiptoeing (if that's a word) through the puddles that had accumulated in the street. I soon realized how ridiculous it was (after about 15 minutes of playing this game) and had a little revelation.
In my life there have been times where I am so concerned with the "puddles" if you will, the small problems/behaviors/circumstances that I was unable to realize the big problem (or the down pouring rain). Bear with me, this metaphor is a little lame. For instance, there have been times I have been preoccupied with changing my behaviors to fit what I thought I SHOULD be doing or I would get concerned with my interactions and relationships with people and maybe wanted them to be deeper or more meaningful/not so destructive. I would be so focused on these THINGS, that I failed to see that the likely reason my habits/behaviors were out of whack or my relationships were unhealthy was because of a bigger problem--a bigger disconnect. The "problems" were often just a result of being disconnected with God.
I can pinpoint periods in my life where I can't believe some of the things I did. And of course, in hindsight, I can see that my attempts in those times to change or fix what was happening failed because I was correcting a symptom of the disconnect, rather than the disconnect itself.
However, even now when I am really feeling a growing connection with God and have really had 3 months of awesome-ness :), I still find myself getting preoccupied with the small stuff, with the stuff that would work itself out if I just focused on connecting and trusting God more deeply. Not sure if that makes sense. But when I was running, I kept thinking, it's simple, love God with all my heart. I CAN DO THAT. If I am working on making that happen, the details, the small things--they will work themselves out. If I am loving God with all my heart, my relationships WILL be more meaningful and hopefully my behaviors will be less destructive, etc. I like that I don't and actually can't fix all the small problems, all the symptoms of disconnect without focusing on loving God with all my heart. I think sometimes we make it so much more complicated than it is. And don't get me wrong, I know life is complex and relationships are hard to maintain and build, but I believe and want to trust that if we really are trying to love God with all we have, the small stuff will just seem, well small. I'm gonna stop focusing on the puddles, and start focusing on stoping the RAIN :)

Would you rather Wednesdays

I was listening to the radio the other morning and they were talking about this new game "Would You Rather" and I had flashbacks to high school/college parties and couldn't believe somebody was making money off this (which I am pretty sure was also a book). Who doesn't remember ridiculous discussions of why it would be better to lose one leg rather than both your arms, and then as you got older some slightly racier questions were posed. (Ok, if you never played this game you were either uncool--jk--or deprived).
So, in honor of this game coming out, I thought I would devote Wednesdays to a ridiculous question, because who couldn't use a little mid-week amusement...(and I will TRY to keep my questions from being too disgusting or inappropriate ;) )

Would you rather be stranded on a desert island alone OR stranded on a deserted island with someone you hate?

Swearing In Day!

Today was fun. No work and i got to spend the day with my family in Columbus. The swearing in ceremony was at 2 PM and the Supreme Court swore in 1000 new attorneys today. Kinda scary, huh? I was so glad my family could take off work and come. Plus I was able to see some fun people from law school. All in all a very celebratory day, good times from the actual ceremony down to the drive back from Columbus (Katy and I definitely had a major sing along that ranged from Cat Stevens "Peace Train" to FreakNasty "Da Dip"--it was hilarious, and if anyone drove by us, they surely would have been entertained). I also got my first piece of mail addressed "Elizabeth S. Brashear, Esq." How exciting ?:) Days like this are great. Tomorrow, back to reality and WORK... Here are some pics of the day!

Obviously, inside the lights were too weird to get good pics.