When I was 15, two dogs attacked me. I was in PA, visiting my grandma, and went running. I had my walkman with me (remember those? tape player and FM radio?), so I couldn't hear very well. Eventually, I heard loud barking and turned around to see two giant dogs (a huskie and a German shepard) sprinting after me. Not having grown up with dogs, I panicked and screamed and basically ran faster. If you know anything about dogs, they love a good chase...and four legs are faster than two. Needless to say, it didn't end well, and among other things, I lost my walkman to the ferocious beasts.
After that, I was scared to death to run outside by myself. Every time I heard a little jingle of a dog collar, I immediately would become almost paralyzed with fear. Often, I would just turn around and not even venture down a portion of a street if I heard barking. This went on for a while. Even in college, dogs scared me when I would go running.
When I was in law school, I dated a guy who had a dog...and literally, I thought we could never be serious because of my fear of dogs. But, then, I started to like the dog, and began realizing that not ALL dogs want to chomp off your hands or maul you. We didn't date that long, but it wasn't long after that experience that I decided I had to have a dog...that if I could train and learn about dogs, then I wouldn't be afraid of them. (I realize this sounds kind of after school special-ish, but it's true.) So, I bought my dog (she's all of 13 pounds--I had to start small) and took her to 2 sessions of obedience class, more to socialize ME to other dogs than her. Often in the classes, we would have to exchange dogs and I hated when I would get the rotweiller or hyperactive dalmatian, but it was so good for me. Now, I LOVE dogs. It's a pretty amazing turnaround.
Bottom line, making decisions out of fear is no good. I have done this many times, but making decisions in an attempt to protect ourselves from hurt prevents growth, and keeps us from truly experiencing the abundant life God promises us. As I get older and accumulate more "scars" if you will, I am realizing that it's harder to make decisions free from fear. I am less willing to take risks because I base my actions on what I predict the outcome will be.
But, that doesn't work. If I had never overcome my fear of dogs (and of running by dogs), I would be running on a treadmill and would have missed out on some amazing places I've run by myself. The runs would be boring. In the same way, allowing fear to motivate my actions and decisions creates a boring existence. I want adventure. I want to take risks. And, really, what is there to even be afraid of? If I believe in the Gospel, then even death itself is an upgrade.
I was pretty afraid to take a new job. It is a risky move on my part--I know absolutely nothing about the area of law in which I now will be practicing (and by nothing, I mean I never took a class on it in law school and it is hardly even tested on the Bar exam, so yea, NOTHING is the extent of my knowledge). It's in a city I barely know. I am leaving a safe, easy job that I am pretty good at because, well, it got boring. The risk of a more exciting job, in a more exciting place, is stronger than safety. And while there is always more chance of being hurt and making mistakes when you stop playing it safe, in the end, I truly believe a wise risk is worth taking--and will lead to a much more passionate and meaningful life.
After that, I was scared to death to run outside by myself. Every time I heard a little jingle of a dog collar, I immediately would become almost paralyzed with fear. Often, I would just turn around and not even venture down a portion of a street if I heard barking. This went on for a while. Even in college, dogs scared me when I would go running.
When I was in law school, I dated a guy who had a dog...and literally, I thought we could never be serious because of my fear of dogs. But, then, I started to like the dog, and began realizing that not ALL dogs want to chomp off your hands or maul you. We didn't date that long, but it wasn't long after that experience that I decided I had to have a dog...that if I could train and learn about dogs, then I wouldn't be afraid of them. (I realize this sounds kind of after school special-ish, but it's true.) So, I bought my dog (she's all of 13 pounds--I had to start small) and took her to 2 sessions of obedience class, more to socialize ME to other dogs than her. Often in the classes, we would have to exchange dogs and I hated when I would get the rotweiller or hyperactive dalmatian, but it was so good for me. Now, I LOVE dogs. It's a pretty amazing turnaround.
Bottom line, making decisions out of fear is no good. I have done this many times, but making decisions in an attempt to protect ourselves from hurt prevents growth, and keeps us from truly experiencing the abundant life God promises us. As I get older and accumulate more "scars" if you will, I am realizing that it's harder to make decisions free from fear. I am less willing to take risks because I base my actions on what I predict the outcome will be.
But, that doesn't work. If I had never overcome my fear of dogs (and of running by dogs), I would be running on a treadmill and would have missed out on some amazing places I've run by myself. The runs would be boring. In the same way, allowing fear to motivate my actions and decisions creates a boring existence. I want adventure. I want to take risks. And, really, what is there to even be afraid of? If I believe in the Gospel, then even death itself is an upgrade.
I was pretty afraid to take a new job. It is a risky move on my part--I know absolutely nothing about the area of law in which I now will be practicing (and by nothing, I mean I never took a class on it in law school and it is hardly even tested on the Bar exam, so yea, NOTHING is the extent of my knowledge). It's in a city I barely know. I am leaving a safe, easy job that I am pretty good at because, well, it got boring. The risk of a more exciting job, in a more exciting place, is stronger than safety. And while there is always more chance of being hurt and making mistakes when you stop playing it safe, in the end, I truly believe a wise risk is worth taking--and will lead to a much more passionate and meaningful life.
3 comments:
So my gmail account just closed out, but I wanted to make sure to tell you to have a GREAT last day of work.
I think you are making a wise risk!
And be sure to enjoy the cake :)
Thanks I am! They had a big party--complete with cake and ice cream and punch. Plus, I get to leave an hour early on my last day! FABULOUS!
Liz, really with the huskie and the german shepard???Are you sure it wasn't two yorkies????
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