Why I Became a Lawyer...Or Something

When I was in college, I was involved in a violent robbery. Ok, that didn't sound quite right. I wasn't perpetrating the robbery...but, I was held up. And it's a good story. So, settle in, grab a beverage, and enjoy ;)

I was 19 years old. My summer job from the time I was 16 until 22 was as a lifeguard at the Stone Oak Country Club. It was a cake job. I won't even begin to describe how perfect that job was here...but, if I could ever go back in time, going back to those summers spent at that pool would rank very high on my "places to visit with the time machine" list.

Anyway, that sumer I decided to pick up a second job at our local video store in the evenings for extra cash. (That was back when I actually saved money.) The Video Connection on Central Ave. was quite the job. Free videos, minimal work. There were some downsides. It was open till midnight, which meant some nights I came home late. There was also an 18 and over room. And each night, that room had to be restocked. SICK! But, yes, it was part of my job. The two workers who closed had to restock all the videos (including the porn room) and count out the money for deposit in the morning.

It was a typical evening at the video store and Kevin (name changed so I don't get sued for defamation/ libel or whatever other tort might be thought up) and I were getting ready to close. At about 1030, he had popped in the Kevin Costner classic, Robin Hood. We finally locked up the store and I agreed to restock the adult video room because I thought I might get out earlier than having to count the money.

I grabbed the videos, headed to the back. Once I was inside, careless throwing videos wherever so I could spend as little time as possible in there, I heard this huge crash. I thought for sure Kevin had knocked over one of the televisions that sat behind the counter. I ran out and yelled "Kevin, what'd you do" but my words were cut short.

Right before me, there were two masked men (kid you not) who had busted through the glass doors with hammers, holding up Kevin demanding the money. Instantly, I figured this was how I was going to die. Shot up at the local Video Connection.

So what did I do? I did what anybody who has watched enough NYPD Blue to learn a thing or two about robberies would do. I put my hands in the air and froze behind the racks of videos and prayed the masked men didn't see me. The entire time the robbery took place, Bryan Adams's Everything I Do I Do it For You serenaded the event while the credits rolled for the movie.

And apparently they didn't see me. I didn't die, or get shot up. They took the money, and ran. (And got caught on the Ohio Turnpike at a Denny's eating, after having left a trail along the Turnpike just like Hansel and Gretel. Seriously, criminals are idiots.) But, by far, it was the scariest experience of my life. I was completely freaked out driving home.

But, in the end, I was so grateful I was restocking those nasty videos! Who knows how things could have been different if I were the one counting the money! You won't ever hear me condemning porn movies--they nearly saved my life! (kidding--don't freak out)

That's my story. After that, I wanted the bad guys put away. So I went to law school. And now I I'm a research attorney in an office all day. It all adds up, right?