Can we really have it all?

The response to Sarah Palin has been quite intense. With the media all a-buzz about her, it seems she is just the jolt the previously uninteresting McCain campaign needed. On several elevator rides in my office, colleagues have asked me what I think about her. Mostly they ask because I am a woman.

And it seems the so-called "Mommy Wars" are on again. I hear women criticizing her because she can't possibly balance a high-stress job and taking care of a baby (not to mention her other children/future grandchild.) Then there are the women who praise her for being an example of a modern-day woman who can do it all-successful career and mother. Then there are the women who question how she can stand for working women while being a member of the Republican party-a party who has generally opposed legislation favorable to working parents (i.e. Family Medical Leave Act).

Who knows. I do know, however, that women are incredibly critical of each other. Stay at home moms criticize working mothers, and vice versa. I'm not sure why, but women really seem to struggle so much with their roles and/or identities. For example, I like to work. I enjoy waking up and driving downtown, walking to my office and being a lawyer. Sure, some days I don't love dealing with the day to day junk-but overall, I like having a job, getting a paycheck, reading and researching and finding solutions to legal problems. Often, if I am home for more than a day, I get kind of depressed.

BUT, what if I never have children? Have I denied myself the chance to fulfill whath some might say is my "true" calling to be a mother? What if I do have children, but also work? Am I somehow preventing my children from feeling secure or having a "good" childhood? I don't think I'd do very well staying at home all day. My dog drives me crazy from time to time--imagine me with a child! :-)

I may never have answers to these questions. But, it just seems like most of the pressure comes from other women. My mom grew up with the feminist movement. She never let me dress up as a princess for halloween (to this day I remember that!). She would've been disappointed if I came back from my first year of college with a fiance. She wanted me to go to school, get a job, then--if I wanted--have a family.

But friends my own age seem to be doing the opposite. Many of my friends from high school and college who have children are quitting their jobs to stay home with their children. Obviously, some women don't have that choice. Money is always an issue. But, it's interesting to see a new trend away from trying to have it all. Women seem to be making a choice between career and children. Whether we can or can't "have it all" I think we need to stop being so hard on each other. It just seems kind of silly.