11 years ago I became a Christian. I was almost 15, a know-it-all, perfectionist (not much changed there) who found immense relief and freedom in realizing that is was ok that I wasn’t perfect, and couldn’t be. The next 5 years, I learned everything I could, read the Bible regularly, went to youth groups and Bible studies. I had a great routine going. I even started a Bible study in my freshman year dorm. In college, I went to FCA. We would meet on Wednesday evenings, and then we would all go out to the bars afterwards. Eventually, I developed this feeling that completing a checklist would maintain my faith. Go to church, go to FCA, volunteer. Growing in my faith became something I was in charge of, and something for me to figure out. Needless to say, I got frustrated pretty quickly. And other things became seemingly more freeing than the rigid requirements I had set up for myself.
All that being said, I never stopped believing in Jesus. During these 11 years, things have certainly been bumpy and I’ve run away on my own at times, but there is something about Jesus that always brings me back. So here you have it—11 things I’ve learned during my 11 years as a Christian (and wow, do I have a lot more to learn).
1. You can’t do it alone.
Surrounding yourself with a community of people who encourage you to grow is super important. I struggled during the times (like law school) where I thought I could do everything myself. I'm not saying you must join a small group or have someone keep a list of bad things you do. I'm just saying being around pepole who love Jesus and want to see you love Jesus is so encouraging. And having somebody you can be truly honest with (call that person an accountability partner, a mentor, a whatever) is a big part of a support system.
2. Nobody is perfect.
We all mess up, pretty much all the time. And judging/expecting other people to be perfect is a waste of time. I definitely think we should strive to live lives that reflect and obey God, but I don't think we should get caught up only with our mistakes. A focus on only our mistakes, I think, leads people to hide them. I think being honest with our struggles allows God to change us. Pretending we are perfect, and putting on an act for others is exhausting and a waste of time.
3. Willpower is not enough.
With all my routines, projects, groups, etc. I still didn’t feel completely transformed. I felt obligated and like somehow all the “stuff” I was doing was going to earn God’s love. And I could never do enough stuff, or do it well enough. I definitely still struggle with this, but when you think about it, it's really silly. God wants faith, passionate belief that Jesus really can change our hearts; rather than a lame list of "things" we've done. And I've found that when I start doing things because of what God is calling me to do, it doesn't feel like an obligation.
4. Jesus is freedom.
I went through a period of time where I felt like following Jesus was just a set of rules that I continually broke, and it was just frustrating. Over time, I realized that the “rules” I thought Jesus commanded were really created by me and my wanting to be perfect. And doing seemingly “free” things like hooking up with guys, careless partying, not worrying about other people’s feelings is NOT freedom. All that does is create your own personal prison. I am so not kidding. Give it a whirl, you will agree. When I am following Jesus, I can actually trust my instincts. When I have just done “whatever” I can’t trust anything—my heart, my mind, whatever, it’s always a mess of conflict.
5. Reading the Bible is important.
Basically a no-brainer. But, I have really learned that I can’t just trust other people’s interpretation of the Bible. Read it yourself. Understand its context. God does speak through the Bible.
6. Confession is NOT a waste of time.
I used to rarely confess my sins to God. I figured, shoot, He already knows. But, seriously when I started honestly confessing my mistakes (especially those that seem to be quite routine), things in my life began changing. Confession gives us the opportunity to surrender control to God. I feel like I get to say “um God, you know that thing I keep doing that’s bad, well I can’t stop. And I don’t really want to. And I need YOU to change me because I’m pretty sure I won’t change that desire myself.” And God listens. I’m not saying I keep track of everything. I’d never have time to work! J But, be honest with God.
7. Nobody has it all figured out.
Not your pastor. Not your parents. Not your friend who seems so “put together.” Everybody is messy. Everybody makes mistakes. I think it’s funny how so many people are so focused on doing the “right” things and putting up this front of perfection. Doesn’t that kind of leave out the whole concept of grace? We all need grace because we are all imperfect.
8. No one person will ever be enough to sustain you.
If someone could have shared that with me years ago, wow could that have saved me some heartache! But, I probably wouldn’t have listened. J I look forward to marriage (though commitment scares me to death). But, depending completely on one man and expecting him to heal my insecurities, etc. will end badly. I know this from experience! Jesus has to be what sustains you and who you depend on. And the partner I select must encourage me to grow closer to God. Misplaced dependence is so destructive. I never want to go there again.
9. . It’s ok to doubt.
There is nothing wrong with questioning what everybody else seems to take as truth. God isn’t going to be mad if you’re frustrated with Him, or confused, or a mess. But, don’t stop there. Seek answers. Pray, ask questions. While doubt can certainly be healthy, it can also lead to cynicism and bitterness if you aren’t actively looking for answers.
10. There will always be critics.
Forget pleasing everybody. It’s impossible and exhausting. Focus on loving Jesus. I mess up constantly. And people love to point out mistakes, or inconsistencies, or hypocrisies. But, keep plugging away. Actions do speak louder than words. And making choices that reflect God’s will, eventually will speak for themselves.
11. People are broken.
While my faith is a personal thing, it doesn’t end there. I don’t have to be a raging evangelist, in the scary sense of the word, to share the message of Jesus. Daily, I encounter opportunities where by words or action or whatever I can share Christ. And when you begin to realize your own brokenness, it is amazing how your eyes are opened to the broken hearts of others. You begin seeing it everywhere—in the rich, the poor, whoever. Then, your heart begins to break for others, and all of a sudden serving/loving people doesn’t seem like an obligation, but a passion.
All that being said, I never stopped believing in Jesus. During these 11 years, things have certainly been bumpy and I’ve run away on my own at times, but there is something about Jesus that always brings me back. So here you have it—11 things I’ve learned during my 11 years as a Christian (and wow, do I have a lot more to learn).
1. You can’t do it alone.
Surrounding yourself with a community of people who encourage you to grow is super important. I struggled during the times (like law school) where I thought I could do everything myself. I'm not saying you must join a small group or have someone keep a list of bad things you do. I'm just saying being around pepole who love Jesus and want to see you love Jesus is so encouraging. And having somebody you can be truly honest with (call that person an accountability partner, a mentor, a whatever) is a big part of a support system.
2. Nobody is perfect.
We all mess up, pretty much all the time. And judging/expecting other people to be perfect is a waste of time. I definitely think we should strive to live lives that reflect and obey God, but I don't think we should get caught up only with our mistakes. A focus on only our mistakes, I think, leads people to hide them. I think being honest with our struggles allows God to change us. Pretending we are perfect, and putting on an act for others is exhausting and a waste of time.
3. Willpower is not enough.
With all my routines, projects, groups, etc. I still didn’t feel completely transformed. I felt obligated and like somehow all the “stuff” I was doing was going to earn God’s love. And I could never do enough stuff, or do it well enough. I definitely still struggle with this, but when you think about it, it's really silly. God wants faith, passionate belief that Jesus really can change our hearts; rather than a lame list of "things" we've done. And I've found that when I start doing things because of what God is calling me to do, it doesn't feel like an obligation.
4. Jesus is freedom.
I went through a period of time where I felt like following Jesus was just a set of rules that I continually broke, and it was just frustrating. Over time, I realized that the “rules” I thought Jesus commanded were really created by me and my wanting to be perfect. And doing seemingly “free” things like hooking up with guys, careless partying, not worrying about other people’s feelings is NOT freedom. All that does is create your own personal prison. I am so not kidding. Give it a whirl, you will agree. When I am following Jesus, I can actually trust my instincts. When I have just done “whatever” I can’t trust anything—my heart, my mind, whatever, it’s always a mess of conflict.
5. Reading the Bible is important.
Basically a no-brainer. But, I have really learned that I can’t just trust other people’s interpretation of the Bible. Read it yourself. Understand its context. God does speak through the Bible.
6. Confession is NOT a waste of time.
I used to rarely confess my sins to God. I figured, shoot, He already knows. But, seriously when I started honestly confessing my mistakes (especially those that seem to be quite routine), things in my life began changing. Confession gives us the opportunity to surrender control to God. I feel like I get to say “um God, you know that thing I keep doing that’s bad, well I can’t stop. And I don’t really want to. And I need YOU to change me because I’m pretty sure I won’t change that desire myself.” And God listens. I’m not saying I keep track of everything. I’d never have time to work! J But, be honest with God.
7. Nobody has it all figured out.
Not your pastor. Not your parents. Not your friend who seems so “put together.” Everybody is messy. Everybody makes mistakes. I think it’s funny how so many people are so focused on doing the “right” things and putting up this front of perfection. Doesn’t that kind of leave out the whole concept of grace? We all need grace because we are all imperfect.
8. No one person will ever be enough to sustain you.
If someone could have shared that with me years ago, wow could that have saved me some heartache! But, I probably wouldn’t have listened. J I look forward to marriage (though commitment scares me to death). But, depending completely on one man and expecting him to heal my insecurities, etc. will end badly. I know this from experience! Jesus has to be what sustains you and who you depend on. And the partner I select must encourage me to grow closer to God. Misplaced dependence is so destructive. I never want to go there again.
9. . It’s ok to doubt.
There is nothing wrong with questioning what everybody else seems to take as truth. God isn’t going to be mad if you’re frustrated with Him, or confused, or a mess. But, don’t stop there. Seek answers. Pray, ask questions. While doubt can certainly be healthy, it can also lead to cynicism and bitterness if you aren’t actively looking for answers.
10. There will always be critics.
Forget pleasing everybody. It’s impossible and exhausting. Focus on loving Jesus. I mess up constantly. And people love to point out mistakes, or inconsistencies, or hypocrisies. But, keep plugging away. Actions do speak louder than words. And making choices that reflect God’s will, eventually will speak for themselves.
11. People are broken.
While my faith is a personal thing, it doesn’t end there. I don’t have to be a raging evangelist, in the scary sense of the word, to share the message of Jesus. Daily, I encounter opportunities where by words or action or whatever I can share Christ. And when you begin to realize your own brokenness, it is amazing how your eyes are opened to the broken hearts of others. You begin seeing it everywhere—in the rich, the poor, whoever. Then, your heart begins to break for others, and all of a sudden serving/loving people doesn’t seem like an obligation, but a passion.
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