Is Evangelism a Dirty Word?

Does the word “evangelism” make your skin crawl? I feel like it’s like the word “feminism.” I mean, I’m all for women’s equality, but do I want to call myself a feminist and then somehow get assigned the man-hating stigma? If I’m an evangelist, am I some sort of close-minded crusader out to convert everyone I encounter? And what does evangelism even mean? Is it serving a person one time by handing them a candy cane or washing their car for free—telling them God loves them in a passing sort of way, or is it creating a meaningful friendship with someone where he/she feels comfortable bringing their spiritual questions? Or is it both?
For the short time that I lead Young Life in college, my idea of evangelism or outreach was simply hanging out with high school kids--spending time at basketball games, listening to their ridiculous (and entertaining stories) and basically meeting them where they were. Outreach was completely relational to me, and I thought that was what everyone else thought too.
Since I have moved here, I have participated in a few outreaches at the Vineyard. I have gone to the nursing home a few times and also wrapped gifts at wrap it up a couple of times. I’m in the process of sorting through what evangelism means, how to implement practical, meaningful evangelism in my life in a way that doesn’t contribute to the negative connotations that surround that word.
Hearing the word evangelist always makes me think of a preacher on television and I’m not sure why. I associate this word with pushy, kinda crazy, religious fanatics. The kind of people who were on a corner handing out Bibles and telling students they were going to hell if they didn’t convert when I was in college. Or people I’ve met who can’t have a conversation with someone without making that person a “project”—i.e. not leaving that person alone until they accept Christ. Have you ever been around people like? That kind of evangelism is something of which I want no part.
To be honest, in some outreaches I feel like that person. I start wondering how passing out a candy cane or giving an elderly woman some lotion with a card that says “God loves you” shows Christ to that person. I mean doesn’t it seem a little trite? Sure, it’s a nice gesture, but what happens afterwards… is there any kind of follow-up? Or are we just passing along a blessing to another because God has blessed us? I’m just not sure I get that.
What if evangelism means something different? What if church taught us how to reach out to the people we work with, to our parents, our siblings? What if we were taught the specifics of building meaningful relationships with people in order to earn the right to talk about Jesus without making people into projects, without pushing people into a decision, without forcing people to think a certain way? What if a church taught us how to practically portray God’s grace and acceptance to people without worrying about changing or converting them and to instead trust God to sort that out? Why aren’t more resources poured into that?
I think sometimes we think that to be effective at relational outreach we have to be extroverted, super outgoing, popular people. But this is not so. Creating a relationship where someone feels comfortable asking you about your faith and sharing his or her skepticisms about Jesus is something EVERYBODY can do. We all have friends; we all have people we interact with on a daily basis—people who are part of our routines. There are people I see everyday at the gym, or people I talk to each morning when I get coffee at work in the morning. There are things we can do to serve these people, to meet them where they are, to shock them with kindness and love, and eventually maybe have the chance to talk to them about something slightly more spiritual than the fact that the decaf and regular coffee pot must have been switched up. But we have to start somewhere…we have to make a move, start talking, and do something.
I’m passionate about learning how to do this—to love people in a way that is not scary, offensive, pushy, or too goal-oriented. And I refuse to let the fact that I am not super outgoing stand in the way of having this kind of relational ministry. More to come…