I Love Jane Austen

Really, I do. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite. Maybe it's because the main character is Elizabeth, and she has a fabulous name. Either way, I love the story. Elizabeth, though full of insecurities, always speaks her mind and tells it like it is. And then there's Mr. Darcy. Can a person be in love with a fictional character? If so, I might be. Initially, we think he's a wealthy, arrogant jerk; but by the end he's earned our trust and has shown himself to be sensitive, protective, and deeply caring, for lack of a better word. There are far too few Mr. Darcy's in the world...the absolute best is when he finally says to Elizabeth , “You must know - surely you must know that it was all for you... I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day forward.” I just love it...

Enjoy the clip--the movie is awesome, but read the book if you haven't...:)

(ps. this is not the clip I would pick...it's cheesey, but youtube has too many music videos people make from movies--makes it hard to find what you are looking for when there are 3000 video clips...)

Sick

I hate being sick. When my throat starts hurting I blame it on a dry bedroom, or changing weather, or maybe a lack of water. If people tell me, "geez I think I am getting sick" I am quick to tell them, hey mind over matter, you must will yourself not to get sick (to which is usually responded with a nasty glare). And then I proceed to run to the bathroom, wash my hands for 5 minutes and try to disinfect anything that person may have touched :) hehe...(seriously, when someone sneezes or coughs around me I am apt to stick my mouth and nose under my shirt so I don't have to inhale those "sick" germs--I have issues) I loathe that icky, weak, helpless feeling that accompanies being sick.

Oh well, somehow my germs-away approach didn't work and I caught something. Now it's war with this illness. My weapons? Lots of water, longer runs (seriously it works, if you exercise when you are sick, you WILL get better faster), and zinc lozenges (cold-eeze, developed in Wooster, OH...you know it's great). No antihistamines (sp?) for me...I swear they just prolong the cold!

And this little cold-deal better be on its merry way by Sunday night...or else!

Maybe it's just bad karma since I called in sick when I wasn't exactly sick as a dog...so now I have to work AND be sick...shame on me!

Would You Rather 8

I think New Years Eve is one of the most, if not THE MOST, overrated holidays all year. So many times I have had these amazing plans that either fizzle out or aren't nearly as fun as they seemed they would be. Some years I've just sat around, played games, once I waited for a boyfriend at an airport (that was for the millenium...what a way to celebrate!), I've gone to nice dinners, I've consumed lots of champagne...all were semi-fun, but I've never had an incredible New Years. I still want to go to a fancy party someday with someone I can't wait to kiss at midnight...

And I still have high hopes maybe this year's celebration will top them all. So we'll see....and in light of that...

Would you rather go out somewhere fancy all dressed up to celebrate the New Year OR stay at home, possibly in your pj's, playing games and rock in the New Year with Dick Clark on tv?

I'm All Grown Up

Driving back from Toledo tonight I had a realization--I am all grown up. I no longer live with my parents, I don't have a winter break, and I have a whole host of obligations I haven't had ever before. This is the first Christmas where I won't go to Pittsburgh to visit my family there in my entire life because I have to work this week. I really still feel like I am in high school. I feel like I am playing or something. I definitely don't feel like I have a real job, am a professional, etc. It's incredible how fast time passes. Does it ever seem like each year goes by faster than the one before?
Anyways, I was thinking a lot about my family's Christmas traditions and how it's kind of sad that as you get older, your traditions have to change. We open some gifts early with my brother's family because he has kids of his own and has Christmas morning at his own house. This year I have a job and can't make it to Pittsburgh, so the tradition changes. I have nothing too profound to say--I just felt nostalgic driving home:)
It's crazy how fast time goes by. I am 25 years old and I still feel 15 a lot of the time. But then, once in a while, I get a glimpse of this adult who has bills, a nutty dog, a "real" job, and 25 years of memories and I just think...wow... I guess Ferris Bueller was right when he said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it."

Home for the Holidays

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!

I am home for Christmas until I have to head back to work Tuesday (ugh!). And I am banished to the couch because there are so many people here (at least for tonight). Apparently you have to be married to get your own room around here.

It's sofa city for me...and if you don't get that reference go rent Sixteen Candles.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas :)

Defending the Creeps

I worked for a semester in a common pleas court in Toledo. I would watch the criminal docket in shock because nearly every criminal who came through the courtroom doors would plead either "guilty" or, usually, "no contest" (i.e. I do not disagree with the facts as presented by the prosecution, I am waiving my right to a trial or to plea not guilty, and go ahead and punish me, but I am not actually pleading guilty.) Criminal cases are rarely brought to trial, because, well, most times the guy did it and it's just a matter of determining how much leeway the sentencing statute gives the judge. And if the defendant didn't, some part of the investigation got screwed up and the evidence was lost/mishandled so the defendant would be free to go on a technicality (though if stats are right he/she will be back soon).
This has been my feeling/mentality regarding criminal defendants. Right now, however, I am reading John Grisham's book The Innocent Man. Part of me is kind of annoyed by it. It's a tale of incredible injustice in Oklahoma and the murder convictions of two innocent men based on ridiculous evidence and coerced confessions. I get annoyed because books like this (it's nonfiction) sensationalize the justice system and encourage the thinking that our justice system is screwy and filled with dishonest/lazy/unscrupulous attorneys/judges/police officers, etc. and makes all defendants into victims of the "system." Theoretically speaking, however, we have one of the most defendant-friendly court systems in the entire world. You are guaranteed adequate representation, a jury by your peers, an impartial judge, an appeals system just to ensure the trial court got it right, and evidence may only be admitted if it's proven to be relevant, has been in a proper chain of custody, and is not prejudicial.
I realize our judicial system can never be perfect--it is implemented by human beings, so go figure. Anyway, before I start a rant (oh wait maybe I already did) about how tired I get hearing people complain about a system of which their only knowledge is based upon the media, john grisham books, or television shows like boston legal, I will get to my point--reading this book has given me a first hand account of how the justice system really can completely destroy a person's life when unfair, sloppy, and coercive methods are used against a defendant.
I have often said I never want to work in criminal law, and this is mostly true. But, I used to think if I had to do criminal work, I would choose prosecution over criminal defense any day. This is no longer true. The role of the public defender, or any criminal defense attorney for that matter, is crucial to the protection of a defendant's rights. (As is proper police work and prosecutors who investigate fully prior to filing charges) Especially one who is ignorant of the law, possibly mentally unstable, and with a long criminal history. My friend Holly and I have talked about going into practice together in the future (she still has to take the bar though--lucky her:) ) but until that day comes, I am not going to shut the door completely on taking criminal appointments. Even if every person who walks through the door of the courtroom is guilty and is a waistoid who likely cannot be rehabilitated to ever function properly in society, they have a voice that needs to be heard. They have a story. They have a lot to lose.
Go get the book, it's good, and I'm sure someday it will be a movie. Hmm, a John Grisham book turning into a movie...that'd be a shocker...

Presents!

Growing up I can remember certain Christmas gifts that were super special--my first big girl bike (a pink huffy with purple streamers coming out of the handles), a barbie corvette, a pair of earrings that belonged to my grandma that my grandpa had given her when they first met, an ipod, car keys (oh wait that was my parent's joke--they were actually keys to THEIR cars...joke was on me)...you get the idea.
Last night my uncle came over with my mom and brought Katy and me an AWESOME Christmas gift--customized cornhole sets complete with our undergrad colors and logos. Not only do they look sweet, he did everything by hand. He literally taped out the redhawk for miami and each letter. No stencils, no sticker logo. Incredible. I have no artistic skill whatsoever, so seeing things like this amazes me. It's such a special gift--not only that it's personalized, but because of how much time it took to get it right. He painted mine twice because he didn't like the color of gold first...
Anyways, I can't wait to try them out. Luckily it's not going to be too cold anytime soon. So bring it on! I think I see a cornhole championship in my future :)

Would You Rather 6

Gossip. Whether it's friendly or mean or untrue or absolutely true, we all do it sometimes. Maybe women are worse than men, who knows. But there are definitely people who love to be in everybody's business (and ya sometimes that person is me :) ). It's done at the water cooler (I love that image), at parties, in bathrooms, on the phone...basically everywhere. So while we all claim that we hate to be talked about, maybe we really just hate it when we are talked about in an unflattering way...

On that note....

Would you rather be gossiped about OR never talked about at all?

Coooookies

I volunteered (and volunteered Katy) to make all the Christmas cookies for my family this year. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking considering I have no time off work except for this Wednesday and Christmas day. Katy will be making buckeyes and chocolate covered pretzels, but between now and Friday evening I need to have about 10-12 different types of bars/cookies made!

Sooo...what are your favorite cookies? I know I am making oatmeal raisin and snickerdoodles because, well, they are my favorite...but other than that I really can't decide. HELP!

p.s. I have this cookbook called the Cookie Bible, and I tried to browse through it and seriously I think it has more pages than a real bible...so any ideas are welcome:)

It really IS a Wonderful Life

I did my senior thesis on Christmas movies..(ok, seriously college was the best. ) It's a Wonderful Life by Frank Cappra is one of the best by far. I often get a case of the "I wish I had ___" or "if only I were ___" or better yet "if I were just married to or dating ___". So many times we get preoccupied with what we haven't done, where we haven't been, and how many of our dreams haven't been reached. We forget what we have, how special right now is, our experiences along the way, and the potential that remains in the future. But maybe that's just me:) I know it's pretty simple...but I think it's universal. It's so easy to get disheartened when things go wrong and life seems to hand us a mountain of struggling circumstances. It definitely stinks sometimes.

My favorite part of the movie is where George Bailey screams out "I wanna live!" in desperation ...He was able to get what I (and probably a lot of people need)-- a little perspective on what's important and realizing life can be fulfilling (and abundant) even when it's not as we planned it to be.

Would you Rather 5

Growing up, when our family would travel my dad, would always listen to talk radio. Usually it was sports and once in a while sports commentary. Half the time the station would barely come in and all we could hear was static. It was awful if your batteries ran out of your walkman (back in the day before ipods) before you got to the next rest stop.
So the other day I was driving back fron Cincinnati and I started listening to talk radio. It was the only thing that would keep me awake. And I kind of enjoyed it--sick, I know.

So here goes:

Would you rather forever have to listen to sports/talk radio in your car or nothing at all? (and no you can't pick out WHAT sport--it all depends on which station comes in best)

Dickens

Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843. I love this passage...I think he gets it right as to why so many people love this time of year.

"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say, Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred origin, if anything belonging to it call be apart from that, -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to thank of people below them as if they really were fellow-travellers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"

I need direction, literally

I get lost a lot. Once, I had a job interview at this big firm in pittsburgh. I spent a half hour in a parking garage trying to find an entrance into the building. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Today I went on this long run at this metropark and ended up completely lost in the middle of this park. Luckily I stumbled upon a map posted, but it was all worn down and unreadible. While standing there confused, this man appeared OUT OF NOWHERE with his huge dog and said (no lie) "I see you've lost your way." My first thought: this is going to end like a bad lifetime movie--I am definitely about to get attacked/kidnapped/pushed into the stream behind me. But, ok, he was nice, helped me find my car, and all was well.

I've been going to Cincinnati at least once a week for about three months. You'd think I'd have some idea of where I am going. But, no. Last night Jana and I spent 20 minutes trying to find 75...I mean, really? I need a map of Cincy and sooner rather than later. (By the way, Jana hate to ruin your xmas--but you are getting a map as well, and a justin cd:) )
I have never been good at directions. I see things by landmarks rather than streets. I get confused and turned around easily. If there weren't a compass in my car, I would be in BIG trouble. I laugh when people say "go north on x street and then west on x"--what in the world does that mean? Speak in lefts or rights please! "Turn left at the mcdonalds and right at the place where you can tan while you do laundry" (a fine establishment jana and i discovered last night).

I just don't get it, some people always seem to have a sense of where they are, and then there's me...clueless.
Oh well...I HAVE gotten to see a lot more of Cincy, among other places, than I would have if I never got lost :)

the griswolds are awesome

Look out, I figured out how to link out to youtube videos. I LOVE Christmas Vacation. It's one of those movies that I can't help but recite the lines while I watch it. If this isn't in your top 5 favorite Christmas movies, you are crazy:) This is one of my favorite parts.... enjoy!!!

Starting with an Apology

I have immediate family members and a very close friend in my life that would never call themselves Christians. They may call themselves spiritual, or maybe even religious, but they would never label themselves a Christian.
Recently, I’ve been trying to figure out why I think it would take more than a miracle for these people to become followers of Jesus. I question my lack of faith. I wander at my inability to minister to them, while sharing freely with other people in my life—people who are more like strangers to me. It hit me while I was driving home tonight. At least one of the reasons I find it so hard to share Jesus with these close people in my life is because I know and have heard ridiculous stories of their interactions with other Christians. I get almost ashamed to associate or label myself the same name as these folks who, seemingly with good intentions, turned these people close to my heart off from Jesus.
So, I think my approach may be off. Clearly, I need major prayer that God can change my heart to have more faith that He really can work a miracle in their lives. But, I think these people need an apology first. To my friend who decided to go to a “seeker-friendly” church and was given the run around when trying to get involved in a small group to try to figure out what was meant when she heard Jesus died for her sins—I’m sorry. To my family who has a church parking lot near their back yard and church members who dump their trash in your vegetable garden, refuse to mow their section of grass, and distribute unwanted literature nonstop to your door—I’m sorry. Whatever it may be, we all have at some point experienced the disgusting hypocrisy that turns so many non-Christians away from God. So to those close people in my life (and anyone else to whom this may apply):
I’m sorry that we as Christians are so hypocritical. I’m sorry if we have in any way kept you from knowing Jesus. I’m sorry if we have lead you to believe that becoming a Christian also means becoming a conservative, close-minded, arrogant, elitist jerk. I’m sorry that we seem to get it wrong sometimes more than we get it right when it comes to living like Christ. I’m sorry we are so human. I'm sorry we don't often show acceptance or grace. I'm sorry we sometimes seem to have a simple answer for complex questions. My prayer is that you wouldn’t let our shortcomings and our humanness prevent you from knowing Jesus.

Would You Rather 4

This is a pic of my two best friends from college who I don't see NEARLY enough :) We can go 2 weeks + without talking and pick up right where we left off. The friendship requires very little maintenance, but I know I can count on them. I love that. I've only ever had a few close friends. I've had lots of acquaintances, but only a handful of very close-tell-nearly-everything friends. I cherish them. But, sometimes diverse opinions are interesting too...sooooo

Would you rather have a big group of friends or one very close friend?

No More Mudpies, please!

DISCLAIMER**I love Cinderella, I want to be swept off my feet again by an amazing love, I think men are wonderful**

Women, sometimes I think we are too easily pleased by men. Men appear to offer us security, perhaps satisfy desires, flatter us; and yet consistently leave us unfulfilled, wanting more, and let down. Why, then, do we always want to make those relationships work—no matter how unhealthy, no matter how far they may take us from God or our friends?
I feel like most women see marriage as a goal in life, a destination, that until reached, life can’t be complete or ever enough. And it’s worse among Christian women. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I want to be married, I think we are designed for companionship; but I think sometimes we miss the point when it comes to men. Here are some ways I think women miss the point when it comes to men:

1. Men are human and thus will fail to meet our expectations for a prince/hero/fill in your dream description here. As sad as it is, men will always disappoint us, just like we will always disappoint men—at least on some level.

2. If a man doesn’t bring you closer to God, the relationship isn’t right. I really feel this to be true—from experience—I’m not airing my personal experiences on my blog, but just trust me that I have enough experience here to make this statement.

3. We enable men to be less than they should by making excuses for their shortcomings, continually accepting subpar treatment, and compromising our faith in exchange for a relationship with a man who doesn’t strengthen us spiritually.

4. We need to stop blaming men for being jerks and players and start taking part of the blame ourselves. We have too often allowed our longing to be desired get in the way of waiting for a man who can love us the way God intended. Don’t get me wrong, I have my “men suck” moments (well quite often really), but more times than not it’s really a “wow I can’t believe she/I let that happen” moment.

5. No man will ever complete you. Ever. Stop waiting for the Jerry Maguire moment and start strengthening your relationship with God. I realize I’m cynical and this is all a result of my own unhealthy relationships, but these broken relationships have taught me time and time again that my needs will NEVER completely be met by a man.

6. We can’t possibly expect to be good wives/girlfriends if we need our husband or boyfriend to feel satisfied, worthy, or fulfilled. I realize love is addicting, that feeling of being cared for and desired is incredible. Falling in love is the best feeling in this world, hands down. But it also takes us to a place where we are willing to do anything to continue having that feeling. Whether it’s agreeing to watch Monday night football when you hate it or slowly allowing yourself to move away from God, we as women go out of our way to accommodate men (or at least I have) in order to keep that intoxicating love feeling going. I’m not saying relationships aren’t work, I’m just saying we should have our needs fulfilled by something more. God promises us an abundant life, we shouldn’t settle for less.

Only when we take the someday-my-prince-will-come blinders and start letting God fulfill our needs rather than expecting a man to do it will we ever become the women/girlfriends/wives we should and can be. Otherwise, I truly believe that we are accepting substitutes. Men can provide so much for us, but when we expect them to provide it all, we will at some point be incredibly lost and disappointed. Perhaps our desires for husbands and great boyfriends aren’t so strong, but instead so weak. As C.S. Lewis wrote (and advice given to me by my sister before):

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Don’t be so easily pleased…

I have more thoughts, but at the moment my dog is going crazy barking at a stupid excuse for a Christmas decoration blow up polar bear across the street and I need to go shut her up before the neighbors come yell at me…

Is Evangelism a Dirty Word?

Does the word “evangelism” make your skin crawl? I feel like it’s like the word “feminism.” I mean, I’m all for women’s equality, but do I want to call myself a feminist and then somehow get assigned the man-hating stigma? If I’m an evangelist, am I some sort of close-minded crusader out to convert everyone I encounter? And what does evangelism even mean? Is it serving a person one time by handing them a candy cane or washing their car for free—telling them God loves them in a passing sort of way, or is it creating a meaningful friendship with someone where he/she feels comfortable bringing their spiritual questions? Or is it both?
For the short time that I lead Young Life in college, my idea of evangelism or outreach was simply hanging out with high school kids--spending time at basketball games, listening to their ridiculous (and entertaining stories) and basically meeting them where they were. Outreach was completely relational to me, and I thought that was what everyone else thought too.
Since I have moved here, I have participated in a few outreaches at the Vineyard. I have gone to the nursing home a few times and also wrapped gifts at wrap it up a couple of times. I’m in the process of sorting through what evangelism means, how to implement practical, meaningful evangelism in my life in a way that doesn’t contribute to the negative connotations that surround that word.
Hearing the word evangelist always makes me think of a preacher on television and I’m not sure why. I associate this word with pushy, kinda crazy, religious fanatics. The kind of people who were on a corner handing out Bibles and telling students they were going to hell if they didn’t convert when I was in college. Or people I’ve met who can’t have a conversation with someone without making that person a “project”—i.e. not leaving that person alone until they accept Christ. Have you ever been around people like? That kind of evangelism is something of which I want no part.
To be honest, in some outreaches I feel like that person. I start wondering how passing out a candy cane or giving an elderly woman some lotion with a card that says “God loves you” shows Christ to that person. I mean doesn’t it seem a little trite? Sure, it’s a nice gesture, but what happens afterwards… is there any kind of follow-up? Or are we just passing along a blessing to another because God has blessed us? I’m just not sure I get that.
What if evangelism means something different? What if church taught us how to reach out to the people we work with, to our parents, our siblings? What if we were taught the specifics of building meaningful relationships with people in order to earn the right to talk about Jesus without making people into projects, without pushing people into a decision, without forcing people to think a certain way? What if a church taught us how to practically portray God’s grace and acceptance to people without worrying about changing or converting them and to instead trust God to sort that out? Why aren’t more resources poured into that?
I think sometimes we think that to be effective at relational outreach we have to be extroverted, super outgoing, popular people. But this is not so. Creating a relationship where someone feels comfortable asking you about your faith and sharing his or her skepticisms about Jesus is something EVERYBODY can do. We all have friends; we all have people we interact with on a daily basis—people who are part of our routines. There are people I see everyday at the gym, or people I talk to each morning when I get coffee at work in the morning. There are things we can do to serve these people, to meet them where they are, to shock them with kindness and love, and eventually maybe have the chance to talk to them about something slightly more spiritual than the fact that the decaf and regular coffee pot must have been switched up. But we have to start somewhere…we have to make a move, start talking, and do something.
I’m passionate about learning how to do this—to love people in a way that is not scary, offensive, pushy, or too goal-oriented. And I refuse to let the fact that I am not super outgoing stand in the way of having this kind of relational ministry. More to come…

Wise Words from Linus

I love that it's December first, which means it's completely legitimate to have my radio permanently on Christmas music, I can decorate my cube for Christmas, and I can once again start re-watching all my favorite Christmas movies. Tonight I am going to babysit my niece and nephew and we are going to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. Though not my fave Christmas flick, I love its simple message. In response to the flashy commercialism of Christmas, Charlie Brown desparately searches for the true meaning of Christmas. I just LOVE this story and Linus's sweet, simple response:

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

Air Force Museum

Have you ever played those trust games? Like you get together and you have to do a trust fall or you all intertwine your arms and then have to unravel...all in the name of "teamwork" or some such thing.
I work for a big corporation. We have 9 legal "teams" and every quarter each team goes on what is called a team building day where you basically get a day off work in exchange for spending the day with your team members. Our team spent part of the day at the Air Force Museum and watching an IMAX movie (the other part was spent in team meetings which was not so fun) and it was surprisingly awesome. Even though we had to do a scavenger hunt (of course I won, did you really have to ask), I LOVED the visit. Not only do they have airplanes from Kitty Hawk through the space age, there's also tons of missles and bombs. The museum even has the B-29 that dropped the bomb on Nagasaki. There was a plane called the "strawberry bitch" with a half naked woman on it and a plane that looked like a shark. I also liked the gallery of old bomber jackets. I think everyone should go tour this museum. It's pretty sweet and a lot bigger than I thought. Apparently it's the biggest and oldest in the world!
Now, I could take or leave the IMAX movie. It was all about speed and the evolution of man made fast stuff. Basically it made me fee car sick. I don't know if you've ever been to an IMAX movie, but the point is to make you feel like you are really experiencing it. So cars whipping around race tracks and roller coasters on the big screen kind of made me nauseus. But, other than that, yesterday was so fun.

So, I recommend everybody take a trip to the Air Force museum. If you like history at all, fast stuff at all, engines at all, war memorabilia at all....you get the point--you will love it. And it sure beat trust fall-type activities :)