A sad state

While eating some cake yesterday ordered to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of a few attorneys in the office, my colleagues and I were discussing weddings and marriage. Someone stated that of the 10 or so weddings she had attended in the last year, she figured 2 would actually "make it" and stay together. That surprised me, but what surprised me more was that other people chimed in, agreeing and commenting that when they attend a wedding they usually can tell whether the couple "has what it takes" to last-and that most couples don't.

The whole conversation left me feeling angry and sad. Isn't the whole point of a wedding to publicly, before God, declare to the world your commitment to your spouse? A chance to request support and encouragement from close friends and family for what is sure to be a path with many bumps along the way? Apparently not. Instead, weddings today are a chance for a gigantic, expensive party to celebrate the combining of assets of two people who have probably been living together for 2 years anyway.

A wedding has become something that is expected of a couple that has been dating x number of years, rather than a celebration of a commitment to spend a lifetime together. Weddings today are "the next logical step."

My thoughts are all over the place on this, but mostly I just wish our world was more supportive of marriage. It literally feels sometimes like no one respects marriage. People flirt with others they know are married without any regard for the marital relationship-and then they find countless reasons to justify their behavior. This sickens me. When I see that happening (which I do-I think this is probably common in work environments), I just want to go up to people, shake them and say STOP IT, YOU ARE MARRIED. But, nobody does that. We all just turn our heads and indirectly add to the general disrespect our culture has for marriage.

I guess the thing is for me, I'd prefer people to not be placing bets at my wedding on whether or not I have what it takes to make a marriage work. If you really think the marriage won't work, don't you have a duty to suggest that BEFORE the wedding? I'd rather have people attending who have the intention of supporting my marriage, not there to condemn it while enjoying free booze and cake.