In May it will be nearly a year since I have gone on a date. This isn't necessarily a conscious choice, but after a long period of making some, shall we say, interesting dating/relationship choices I have decided to be more selective/careful about who(m)? I go out with. (and three months studying for the bar exam is in there, so that doesn't count;) ) But, it begs the question, are no dates better than many dates that lead nowhere?
So, from your perspective...
Would you rather go on a date with anyone who asks OR take the risk of having no dates at all?
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9 comments:
Well that depends... How much free food and drink is in it for me?
just kidding.
No seriously, I'm currently being pursued by this guy who is more or less stalking me. Infact he's probably reading this right now. So I'm lost as to accept his invitations to go out. At this point I'm thinking...I should risk having no dates at all.
The more dates the better. Why not?
am, you need to go out with this guy! if he's ballsy enough to ask you in person, just let him buy you dinner.
katy do you remember bjorn? would you have gone out with him?
i'm somewhere in between. i think it's wise to set some limits, to make some decisions as to what you really want and stick with that. at the same time, i think sometimes i've judged guys too harshly in the past. i'm trying to break patterns of second-guessing people. i'd rather not be dating than date guys who aren't going to help me grow (not to be like 'what's in it for me?' but i've seen friends get really sidetracked by relationships they were in). but i don't want to be judgmental either. you can't always tell what might be happening in another person's journey; where he is now may not be where he'll always be, and maybe i don't know him well enough to even know where he is right now. it requires wisdom. just my two cents... :)
YES!!!!! Bjorn or... Christy.... hee hee... Remember that one? I'm pretty sure you picked Christy over the German.
There's a difference between dating someone and going on a date.
i would DEFINTITELY pick no date over Bjorn.
i am officially a jerk.
I'm probably a little more liberal in my dating attitudes than most evangelicals, but my philosophy is that you should never turn down a date unless there is some kind of "red flag" that tells you that you have no interest in this person. If you have no interest whatsoever, it's probably a little disingenuous to agree to a date. But, if there's even a small chance that you could eventually be interested, why not go out on a date or two? Once you get out of college and people are a bit more mature and there is generally less pressure, dating can be a lot of fun. I'm all for going out on lots of dates.
In fact, I generally try to allow for about three dates. If I run into any red flags on the way, then I call things off as soon as I see it. If there are no red flags, I try to allow for a few dates to see if anything develops. After you get to that point, the guy (and the girl, actually) needs to spend some time considering the nature of the relationship moving forward and start making some more intentional decisions.
Then again, I'm no expert. I'm single, after all. If anyone has any tips on getting past that three-date threshold, I'm all ears.
...and I would say that sometimes many dates that lead nowhere can, in fact, be much better than no dates at all. At the very least, it can be a lot of fun. Let's not forget the importance of fun, right?
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