A Brilliant Disguise

So tell me what I see
When I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
Or just a brilliant disguise

-Bruce Springsteen, Brilliant Disguise

Sometimes I think we are all big liars. We're so good at creating the image of ourselves we want people to see. We say the right things, make the right jokes, tell the right stories, and let people in just close enough, without letting them really know us.

I am definitely like this. I let some personal stories out here or there, but not the really awful, embarrassing, shameful ones. I don't mind if people know I struggle with certain things--but not other things. I'm honest to a point, but the rest I keep to myself--known to no one.

And maybe this is why it's so hard to understand each other sometimes--because we're so caught up in playing the reputation game, in creating an image of ourself that's admirable and likable that we never quite know each other well enough to effectively encourage and support.

We spend so much time fixated on this brilliant disguise. We're careful about what we say and do around people and very prudently release personal information. Because, the less somebody knows about me, the harder it will be for that person to hurt or reject me.

We go around living in fear that one day we'll let someone in--and he or she will bail. It's ironic because while I long for someone to really know me and care for me, I am so unwilling to shed my own brilliant disguise.

If we really desire to be known and understood by people, why are we so afraid to let our guard down and be vulnerable/our true selves?

As Long as You're Happy

4Now he had to go through Samaria. 5So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

7When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" 8(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

9The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.^[a])

10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

11"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"

13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

15The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."

16He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."

17"I have no husband," she replied.

Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. 18The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

19"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. 20Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."

21Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

25The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) "is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

26Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."

John 4:5-26

I love this interaction Jesus has with the Samaritan woman. I love it because I have felt like this woman. I love it because Jesus doesn’t condemn her lifestyle, but speaks truth to her in a way that creates in her a desire for change. I think it’s awfully hard to see people close to us making decisions we don’t think are wise, or “Godly” or whatever. No one likes to be called out on making poor decisions, but we love to be praised and admired when we do “good” things.

So often, I make choices that reflect a desire to drink from wells that will go dry. I trade in the living well that God provides for instant gratification, the allure of worldly success, or the affirmation of those around me. And even though time and time again I realize that drinking from that well leaves me thirsty and exhausted, I still try to find my own well to sustain me, rather than accepting the free, living water God provides.

And I see this in people close to me as well. One failed relationship? Just jump into another. Bad day at work? Happy hour(s) ought to do the trick. Fear of commitment? A one-night stand lifestyle is fine—no one gets hurt, right? We go through life with this—hey whatever makes you happy—mentality. But, it’s like Sheryl Crow sang (and I am so pissed tickets to her concert sold out in like one second..grr) “if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”

We’re sad because we try to create circumstances that will sustain us that never do. We expect relationships to meet all of our needs that can never be met by one person. And we keep going back for more. Our thirst never gets quenched. We are never satisfied by these cheap substitutes. Sure, a night of drinking can help me forget the pain of being lonely, but how long does that last—2 hours? Sure, hooking up can make me feel desired and attractive—but what about the next day? Full of shame, disgusted with myself, and no closer to having my insecurities fixed.

Jesus promises us living water—He promises us that once we drink, we will thirst no more. Our desires, our passions, our deepest longings will be quenched. I just don’t get why so often I’m like the prodigal son—running off, trying to find and create my own living water when God offers it to me for free?

The substitutes don’t work. And it breaks my heart to see so many people get caught up in the crap that this world “offers” because I’ve been sucked in by it, too. But, it just leaves you feeling more thirsty, more messed up, and more frustrated with yourself.

Why do we stay enslaved to our self-created substitutes, when we can experience freedom by drinking from God’s living water?

because Jana has pink eye

I get an email telling me she is bored and needs me to update my blog. Nice. So, Jana, here is my morning so far--

6:05 Wake up, hit snooze
6:14 Wake up, wonder why snooze is 9 mins and not 10, hit snooze again
6:23 Actually get up, hack up a lung, brush teeth, put contacts in, realize one has a tear and open a new box
6:27 Check weather.com to see if it's raining (yes we have windows on our house)
6:30 Feed dog and take her outside
6:40 Walk outside to start my run
6:40.30 realize the trash can is knocked over and that Rocky the racoon is sitting at the end of the driveway eating leftover pork chops
6:41 Pry the trash bag away from Rocky (no lie), then shudder with disgust
6:42 Run
7:25 Return home, stretch/lay on the floor and wish I could go back to bed
7:35 Shower and talk to Mom on the phone about how she's not coming this weekend
7:50 Try to find clean clothes to wear to work
7:51 Chase my dog around to get back the sandal she stole from my closet
7:53 Make up, hair, etc.
8:05 Make some toast in the oven because we have no toaster, peel open a yogurt
8:10 Bfast and Today show
8:30 Leave for work
8:34 Daily stop at Tim H's
8:45 Arrive at work, drink coffee, check cnn.com and hotmail
9:00 Start really working--looking up laws about whether vocational school students should get paid for doing massages since their employer makes a profit (no lie)
9:30 Break to read blogs--get urgent email from Jana that she's bored, reheat coffee in micro
9:40 Work again

That about does it. Jana, you are all caught up.

Bragg to the Rescue

If you know me at all, you know how bad I am with directions...and you will enjoy this story :-)

So today I drove downtown for my interview. I followed my friend's directions (or so I thought) and tried to park in the parking garage by the stadium. Apparently, though, you have to have either a $1 or $5 dollar bill for the automated attendant. After trying to shove a $20 in there and having it spit the bill back at me, I reversed out of the garage and started driving aimlessly to find a parking garage near the building.

I had NO IDEA where I was going...although I was wise enough to realize crossing the river would not be a wise idea. So, I hedged a bet that Bragg would answer his phone and could maybe at least guide me to East 4th street.

Not only did he answer his phone, he told me to stay put (which I did) and he drove to where I was. The he had me follow him to a close parking garage that had an actual parking attendant, and proceeded to wait to drive me to the front of my building to make sure I got there on time and didn't get rained on.

Odds are good I would still be driving around Cincinnati right now if Bragg hadn't happened to be downtown at the time AND had screened my call.

So, THANKS BRAGG...I def owe ya! :-)

if i could type what a cough sounds like...

still haven't stopped coughing...

in the meantime...enjoy these pics of my dog (and some other people I love)

Who Needs a Doctor?

So I have this cough. This I can't take a deep breath without feeling the need to cough-cough. Some say it's allergies (including my dog's vet...which is a whole other funny story)--which I have never had before. But, it's a dry cough. I don't have a cold. I'm not stuffed up...I'm not achy...just a dry, itchy cough.

I'm not really one for the doctor. In fact, I don't actually have a doctor down here...and maybe I should. But, I decided to do a little self-diagnosis on WebMD (at the prompting of a colleague no doubt annoyed by my constant cough). WebMD is the coolest website...you can actually list your symptoms and it tells you what you might have. From my symptoms (I actually only have one symptom--dry cough), I may have latent tuberculosis, chronic sinusitis, asbestosis (though I've never been in contact with asbsestos to my knowledge), viral pneumonia, hay fever, the common cold, or allergies. Um, that seems a little broad...but still a fun website if you're ever sick, and bored (and participating in a meeting via video feed on your computer).

So, yea, it'd be cool if this cough went away, say over night. In the meantime, at least my abs are getting a good workout...so I've got that goin' for me...

POWER

8When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, 9and he went back inside the palace. "Where do you come from?" he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. 10"Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?"

11Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."
-John 19:8-11

We all have power. Whether it's holding a certain amount of influence over the friends we hang out with, or being in a managerial position at work, or being a coach of a team, or having a lot of money--even if we don't fully realize it, we all have power.

Recently, I have felt very convicted that God has given me a certain amount of power as an attorney. And I feel like I am squandering that power in my current job. Attorneys have so much influence in our world--members of boards, serving the community through Legal Aid or pro bono work, political positions, foundational work. Nearly every individual will come into contact with an attorney at some point in his/her life--whether it's to create a will, file taxes, file for divorce, bring a personal injury lawsuit, get a contract drafted, you get the picture.

When I think of the multitude of people I could come across and meet, and more importantly serve, it's kind of exciting. But, where I am now, I sit in an office, do research, and maybe come into contact with a handful of my colleagues. And it's not cutting it. Professionally, I don't feel fulfilled. Spiritually, I feel like I am wasting away the power God has entrusted to me with my position.

I think it's really cool to realize you have power, that you have the ability to make a difference. But, now that I've realized that power, I think it's time to utilize it. Jesus used his power to help and protect the powerless--and I think on some level, I have the ability to do that as an attorney. However, it's not really going to get done until I get out there and take part--and trade in a safe/secure job for one that provides me with more opportunities to leverage the power entrusted to me to help the powerless.

Not sure if that made any sense...but it's just been on my heart :-)

A Single Girl's Sometimes-es...

Sometimes…

i wonder if i will ever be a wife
i love being single

i crave attention from men
i feel like bait in a sea of sharks

i am flattered when a guy likes me, even if i don’t like him
i hate the game
i play hard to get
i love to flirt

i want to hold hands and take a walk at night
i dream about going out to dinner with a man and driving back in the same car together to the home we share

i think men suck and are big fat liars

i think i should care more about my appearance
i am so incredibly vain

i want a man to think i look attractive in my favorite old school green sweat pants with OHHS on the butt
i love wearing my black cocktail dress, with high heels, and fancy jewelry

i am not sure guys and girls can really be friends

i like my peep-toe black pumps better than the last guy i dated

i hold a baby and wonder if i'll ever have one of my own
i hold a baby and wonder if i would have any clue what to do as a mother

i wish Matt Damon would just come to his senses and marry me already
i think i will marry the man who hands me my Tim Horton’s everyday because i love how he calls me “miss” while he says “here’s the good stuff”

i wish there were more men who were passionate about their mission in life, rather than about finding a wife or getting laid
i wish men would communicate more with words and speech, rather than texts, email, and myspace messages

i hate awkward conversations in-person and would rather send an email

i am scared to death of forever
i want to be somebody’s “the one” and have him really mean it

the truth comes out

So I listened to this talk last night by Erwin McManus and while the talk was pretty decent, I thought I would share what I considered to be the deepest point of wisdom...

All single guys are essentially jerks.

how true.

a prayer for encouragement

God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory.

-Saint Augustine

My Take on The Holiday

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back.

-Iris, The Holiday


Have you ever loved somebody who didn't love you back? I have and it SUCKS. I spent nearly 2 years believing someone who had fallen in love with me (and fallen out of love with me) would suddenly want me back. We'd go back and forth, back and forth...and it was just such a waste!

We've got to get past wanting somebody so badly it becomes desperation. We've got to stop making excuses for men (or women) who fail to pursue us, but linger around enough to keep us interested. We have to stop waiting for them to become the men we think they can be....or wish they were. We have to discover that chasing after a man who's not chasing you, is well, worthless...and a waste of our precious time.

It's hard though. We get infatuated and caught up in the whirlwind. We see past the bad things this individual does as soon as he does something sweet. One considerate moment covers 100 inconsiderate ones.

But, I believe, ladies...we are created to be pursued and chased after. I don't want to be the one seeking...I want to be the one being sought.

And maybe that means I will be dateless, or maybe that means men will be intimidated by me...but it sure beats engaging in a one-sided love affair, pining after a someone who hardly thinks of me.

Besides, if by next Christmas I'm still single, I'm doing a house swap with someone in England and will meet my own version of the surprisingly-hot-and-sweet-Jude Law in this movie :-)

10 Good Things

1. I rediscovered ambition this weekend (inspired by a friend who tells it like it is and a GAP shirt that said bo(red) and made me think of my current job)
2. Billy Joel '07--$100 dollar seats for $15
3. Ending Friday night with a sandwich from Panini's--can't beat a sandwich that includes a fried egg and french fries on it
4. Stealing a Book It certificate from my sister and forging my niece's name (it has to be a student!) on it to get myself a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut for dinner Sunday night.
5. There was still snow on the ground in Cleveland...but there isn't here!
6. The Holiday -- go rent it. It is awesome.
7. Shun. Unshun. Reshun. If you don't get it--shame on you.
8. I owe $0 on my city of Sylvania taxes...the first time ever not owing city taxes!
9. Warm weather is coming
10. Making the trip back from Cleveland in less than 3.5 hours and no speeding ticket! :-)

Cleve-land Rocks!

So I leave for Cleveland after a short 4 hour work day today and all I can think is THANK GOD. Ever feel like you just need to get away? This little weekend excursion could not have been better timed. So here's to a great weekend with my college roomie and hopefully no snow in the land of the worst team in the NFL...


TGIF and Have a great weekend (including a scare-free Friday the 13th) :-)

God is Love

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8


I once gave a talk at a Young Life club about God's love. I used this passage because I figured most of the people listening had probably heard it before. It must be the most used passage at weddings ever (absolutely no statistical data to back that up). I brought up the way we throw around the phrase "unconditional love" here in this world to describe the love between a wife and a husband or a parent and a child. And then concluded that since none of us (or our relationships) are failure-free, or patient, or always kind, and never boasting, etc...that maybe that's why it's so hard to grasp that God is love. Because we can't picture and haven't experienced a love that has never failed, never been jealous (or rude) or especially never kept a record of wrongs.

I believe there is no pure unconditional love in this world. All our relationships and emotions are tied to conditions and circumstances. While we may get glimpses of unconditional love—perhaps in seeing a healthy couple who is in love, or a parent’s love for a child—I don’t think anyone can point out a loving relationship that isn’t at some level conditional.

We are loved/accepted if we are intelligent, work hard, achieve success or wealth, are honest and considerate, etc. We are not loved or accepted if we cheat on a significant other, for example. We live in this world where we try and try to keep our mistakes and failures hidden for fear that those around us will dislike us. Our reputation is everything. And our reputation is determined by our actions—the way we live our lives. It’s this constant balancing act—between messing up and trying to earn back respect and affirmation from others.

When we live like this, which I think to some degree we all do (it seems impossible not to), our lives become a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down, success and failure, success and failure. Someone criticizes us—we get depressed or pissed off; someone praises our success—we are happy and excited. But, all the while, we are constantly trying to get that “high” feeling by satisfying some condition of love.

Just like on a roller coaster, I get sick trying to consistently meet the world's conditions and win approval and respect. Those dramatic changes in emotions leave me feeling worn out, and inevitably like a failure, because I know that even if I’ve impressed someone, just around the corner another mistake will surely come and I will have to start all over again.

So, I have to ask myself why I so strongly seek to be loved unconditionally by the world, when I know that it’s impossible. Instead of ditching the balancing act and the roller coaster ride in favor of receiving God’s unconditional love, I seem addicted to the highs and lows; and consumed by meeting every condition the world throws my way.

God never withholds his love. Never. And I think on some level I don’t race to those outstretched arms because I feel I don’t deserve that love. I haven’t earned it. I am so wrapped up in the world’s standards, it is nonsensical to me that God would love me no matter how many times I’ve done dishonest things, or hurt others, or failed miserably. It just doesn’t seem right.

But, seriously, how can we ever experience freedom while setting up camp on the world’s roller coaster?

I need a spring break.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

-Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

ever wish you could take a break from responsibilities and meetings and the junk that eats up time?

LizzyB on compassion...

So a week or so back, something happened to me. It involved some dishonesty, relationship issues and the like. Details are left out to protect the guilty :) (i'm kidding)

I started to wonder why I wasn't more upset at what this person had done to this other person. And it hit me--I had done practically the same thing about two years ago. I wasn't angry because I figured if he had gotten to that point, thing were probably pretty messed up in his life. I had this rare glimpse of what I think is meant by compassion.

I feel sorry for people often--the way that you maybe pity a person who is begging on the streets--a distant, far off kind of sympathy. When I was young, my mom used to tell me I had a bleeding heart (I remember thinking how scary that sounded...for a while I really thought something was wrong with me.). I would always want to give poor people spare change, or send money to the orphanages that were advertised on television. I remember during one canned food drive at school, I wiped out our pantry...I think I even took in the evaporated milk. My mom thought I was nuts (and was pretty pissed off). But, I've always felt sorry for those less fortunate than I am.

I think compassion is different than pity. I think compassion is a feeling of understanding that we are all so messed up and broken. Realizing that our relationships get torn apart, we do crazy things, hurt people all in a desperate attempt to heal our brokenness. It's universal, it's human.

Compassion is up close and personal because brokenness is universal. We realize that we are all one step away from self destruction. We have compassion for others because we know our lives are messy, are filled with heartaches, and failed dreams. We have compassion for others because we've hurt people too, because we've made terrible decisions with awful consequences. We have compassion for others because we, too, carry the burden of being human, of wanting to make wiser choices, and yet, still making poor ones. Compassion is knowing that any turn of events could put us in the same circumstances as our neighbor--that our lives are really not that different, that our defensive responses, and self-preserving attitudes are the same.

So maybe we live in a bigger house (or smaller one), or drive a nice car, or have a fancy title at the end of our name (esq. :-))...we are still human, we still need a Savior every day. And our human-ness is what unites us, and what commands us to be compassionate. We recognize ourselves in the struggles of others, in the success and failures of others, in the attempts to fix and control things ourselves, in the ways we long for acceptance, in our desire for lasting relationships, and in our longing for love.

This whole idea of compassion has just really hit me recently. For me, it means cutting people some slack, not being so quick to pass judgment. Because, honestly, chances are good I've done the same thing, or will at some point. I can be just as cruel, as joyful, as deceptive, and as whatever-else as the next person. We are all so broken and we act in ways that protect ourselves. And the brokenness that we all share creates the space for compassion. It's not about feeling sorry for people, but instead recognizing how desperately we need Jesus.

The entire law is summed up in a single command: "love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
-Galatians 6:14

Happy Easter!

Matthew 28:1-10

The Resurrection

1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

I hope your Easter is filled with jelly beans (the black ones are awesome), Peter cotton tail, Easter lilies, brunch, maybe some ham, family time, easter egg hunts, reflection, joy, that fake grass that seems to get stuck to everything, an overflowing Easter basket, colored eggs, chocolate bunnies, and all things sugar-coated and wonderful.

Ways to Repel Men II

Never Let the Guy Win

I'm very competitive. I like to win, usually at all costs (which may or may not involve cheating...just kidding !). I once dated a guy and somehow we ended up going head to head in a swimming race. I even let him borrow my goggles and I still won...and instead of thinking, "wow, Liz is a fast swimmer," he just said, you are ruthless about winning. (may have had something to do with me cutting him off at the end and me making us keep score while watching jeopardy ;) ) Needless to say, I hurt his pride and we didn't go out again after that!

So, once in a while ladies...let the guy win (even if you have to milk it)

What a Concept

Revolutionary Christians are not insensitive to what motivates others, but they evaluate what they see and hear around them in the light of their own vision. They are happy and glad to have people listen to them but are not out to form groups around themselves. No cliques can grow up around them, for they attach themselves exclusively to no human being. What they say and do has a convincing ring and even a self-evident truth, but they force their opinions on no one and are not annoyed when someone doesn't adopt their opinion or doesn't do as they wish.

In everything, these revolutionaries seem to have a concrete and living goal in mind, the realization of which is of vital importance. Yet a great inner freedom is maintained in light of this goal...They are careful and cautious, certainly not reckless, and yet it comes out at every turn that they count their own lives as of secondary importance. They don't live merely to hold out but to work for a new world, the outlines of which they see and which appeal to them so much that even the fear of death no longer has a decisive power over them.

-Henri J.M. Nouwen

i want to be a revolutionary...but can a human ever fit this? can we look beyond the traditions, the norm, comfort, security? can a new world appeal to me more than the world in which i live--the world i see and experience daily? can we let go of our fears of not being accepted, of not achieving notoriety, of not calling the shots?

New Office Thursday

Thank God.