4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I once gave a talk at a Young Life club about God's love. I used this passage because I figured most of the people listening had probably heard it before. It must be the most used passage at weddings ever (absolutely no statistical data to back that up). I brought up the way we throw around the phrase "unconditional love" here in this world to describe the love between a wife and a husband or a parent and a child. And then concluded that since none of us (or our relationships) are failure-free, or patient, or always kind, and never boasting, etc...that maybe that's why it's so hard to grasp that God is love. Because we can't picture and haven't experienced a love that has never failed, never been jealous (or rude) or especially never kept a record of wrongs.
I believe there is no pure unconditional love in this world. All our relationships and emotions are tied to conditions and circumstances. While we may get glimpses of unconditional love—perhaps in seeing a healthy couple who is in love, or a parent’s love for a child—I don’t think anyone can point out a loving relationship that isn’t at some level conditional.
We are loved/accepted if we are intelligent, work hard, achieve success or wealth, are honest and considerate, etc. We are not loved or accepted if we cheat on a significant other, for example. We live in this world where we try and try to keep our mistakes and failures hidden for fear that those around us will dislike us. Our reputation is everything. And our reputation is determined by our actions—the way we live our lives. It’s this constant balancing act—between messing up and trying to earn back respect and affirmation from others.
When we live like this, which I think to some degree we all do (it seems impossible not to), our lives become a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down, success and failure, success and failure. Someone criticizes us—we get depressed or pissed off; someone praises our success—we are happy and excited. But, all the while, we are constantly trying to get that “high” feeling by satisfying some condition of love.
Just like on a roller coaster, I get sick trying to consistently meet the world's conditions and win approval and respect. Those dramatic changes in emotions leave me feeling worn out, and inevitably like a failure, because I know that even if I’ve impressed someone, just around the corner another mistake will surely come and I will have to start all over again.
So, I have to ask myself why I so strongly seek to be loved unconditionally by the world, when I know that it’s impossible. Instead of ditching the balancing act and the roller coaster ride in favor of receiving God’s unconditional love, I seem addicted to the highs and lows; and consumed by meeting every condition the world throws my way.
God never withholds his love. Never. And I think on some level I don’t race to those outstretched arms because I feel I don’t deserve that love. I haven’t earned it. I am so wrapped up in the world’s standards, it is nonsensical to me that God would love me no matter how many times I’ve done dishonest things, or hurt others, or failed miserably. It just doesn’t seem right.
But, seriously, how can we ever experience freedom while setting up camp on the world’s roller coaster?
I once gave a talk at a Young Life club about God's love. I used this passage because I figured most of the people listening had probably heard it before. It must be the most used passage at weddings ever (absolutely no statistical data to back that up). I brought up the way we throw around the phrase "unconditional love" here in this world to describe the love between a wife and a husband or a parent and a child. And then concluded that since none of us (or our relationships) are failure-free, or patient, or always kind, and never boasting, etc...that maybe that's why it's so hard to grasp that God is love. Because we can't picture and haven't experienced a love that has never failed, never been jealous (or rude) or especially never kept a record of wrongs.
I believe there is no pure unconditional love in this world. All our relationships and emotions are tied to conditions and circumstances. While we may get glimpses of unconditional love—perhaps in seeing a healthy couple who is in love, or a parent’s love for a child—I don’t think anyone can point out a loving relationship that isn’t at some level conditional.
We are loved/accepted if we are intelligent, work hard, achieve success or wealth, are honest and considerate, etc. We are not loved or accepted if we cheat on a significant other, for example. We live in this world where we try and try to keep our mistakes and failures hidden for fear that those around us will dislike us. Our reputation is everything. And our reputation is determined by our actions—the way we live our lives. It’s this constant balancing act—between messing up and trying to earn back respect and affirmation from others.
When we live like this, which I think to some degree we all do (it seems impossible not to), our lives become a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down, success and failure, success and failure. Someone criticizes us—we get depressed or pissed off; someone praises our success—we are happy and excited. But, all the while, we are constantly trying to get that “high” feeling by satisfying some condition of love.
Just like on a roller coaster, I get sick trying to consistently meet the world's conditions and win approval and respect. Those dramatic changes in emotions leave me feeling worn out, and inevitably like a failure, because I know that even if I’ve impressed someone, just around the corner another mistake will surely come and I will have to start all over again.
So, I have to ask myself why I so strongly seek to be loved unconditionally by the world, when I know that it’s impossible. Instead of ditching the balancing act and the roller coaster ride in favor of receiving God’s unconditional love, I seem addicted to the highs and lows; and consumed by meeting every condition the world throws my way.
God never withholds his love. Never. And I think on some level I don’t race to those outstretched arms because I feel I don’t deserve that love. I haven’t earned it. I am so wrapped up in the world’s standards, it is nonsensical to me that God would love me no matter how many times I’ve done dishonest things, or hurt others, or failed miserably. It just doesn’t seem right.
But, seriously, how can we ever experience freedom while setting up camp on the world’s roller coaster?
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