Crazy Love

I just finished watching the last episode of Sex and the City. (I won't lie, it's one of my favorite series ever). But, part of me never really got how Carrie and Big ended up together. He was the guy she was completely obsessed with. Often, he treated her like a complete doormat, using her when he was feeling lonely and never really committing to her. He would show up whenever she began a new relationship just to make things messy. And each time he would show up, Carrie would go right back to him, and end up hurt again. Finally, in this last episode, he says she's "the one." Part of me wants to say Carrie you're nuts for being with him...but, then, we all know how it is when you are completely into someone.

There are so many things I don't understand. I'm completely willing to admit that I do not have all the answers (and to be honest, I have very few answers). So maybe you all lend me some insight on this one...What is it about relationships that gets us so crazy? Why do we feel so much security when somebody else likes us?

I was "crazy" in love once. Completely infatuated. Over the length of the relationship, other things in my life became less important. I began compromising friendships, myself, my faith, etc. in order to be with this person. It didn't matter what I had to do, I just didn't want to lose that feeling of being connected with somebody, of being loved by somebody, of being needed by somebody.

But, I propose fatal attractions, such as these, can never really last. What makes us lose confidence in ourselves and hang around in destructive relationships?

I never want to be "crazy" in love again. Don't get me wrong. I want passion, I want adventure, excitement. But, I don't want my worth, self-esteem, or mood to be determined by an unhealthy relationship. I think it's kind of why I'm so cautious/pensive about dating. I'm afraid of getting caught up in something like that again. I want to be encouraged and supported with my relationship with God. I think expectations should be high. Having a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend has lost any attractive-ness it may, if ever, have had to me.

I feel fairly certain God doesn't want me to end up in a relationship like that either...I just wish I could figure out why so many of us get caught up in them at some point...